


Encroaching Darkness

by ImaginationEscapades



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Eventual Clack, M/M, Protective Zack Fair, Self-Harm, some non/elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:02:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27597271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaginationEscapades/pseuds/ImaginationEscapades
Summary: Cloud has failed the SOLDIER exam for what feels like the last time, when the hits keep coming the cadet finds himself unsure of his ability to cope and begins to turn to unsavory methods. Zack is left scrambling to find ways to save him. Little does he know, his actions might just end up taking someone with him as he goes. Rated M for language, violence and sexual themes.
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 9
Kudos: 60





	1. The Beginning Of The Encroaching Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I am posting my first FF7 fic. Comments are greatly appreciated, so give it a read and let me know what you think. Another chapter will be posted sometime this week. Crossposted on Fanfiction.

Cloud couldn't take it anymore. He had failed the soldier exam for the third time in a row. Too short, too weak, too girly! These were only a few of the many offending adjectives that he had been burdened with during his time as a cadet at Shinra. He didn't know why he thought that he, of all people, could somehow manage to become SOLDIER. When he thought of what SOLDIER meant he easily pictured his best friend Zack in his head. Kind, tall, handsome, and most importantly heroic. He was the person you looked up to. The person Cloud longed to be but was the farthest from. In fact, he was very much his opposite in everyway. If Zack was the sun, bright and full of energy, then Cloud was the moon. Lonely and quiet, only noticed because of the reflection of the sun's light. 

"Great, now I'm thinking in terms of crappy poetry." He scoffed aloud as he headed towards the showers to wash off the day's failures.

"What's wrong with poetry?" A cheerful voice pipped up from in front of him. A voice he often enjoyed hearing from, but currently was the source of much of his envy.

Cloud looked up to see his friend Zack, whose ever present grin was quickly faded at the sight of the shorter man's visible angst. His lips tugging south in a frown and a crease appearing between his brows in sympathy. He knew the exams were today, and despite his reputation, Zack was able to piece together what had his friend so down.

"Aw, cheer up Spikey. You can try again next year." He said as he placed a comforting hand and Cloud's shoulder. It was quickly brushed off.

"So I can fail for the fourth time. Great." He muttered towards the ground. He knew Zack hated when he did that, but Cloud at the moment could not bear to see everything he strived for standing before him, almost as a cruel reminder of what he will never be. 

When he felt a warm gloved hand tug his chin up he immediately resisted and pulled away, unwilling to meet his friend's warm eyes that no doubt would be swimming in concern. Concern he did not want nor deserve. He slipped past the raven haired man before he could get another word out, tossing a half-assed, "I'll be fine." over his shoulder as he went. He could feel the violet gaze burning holes in his back as he went. No doubt Zack could sense something had changed in Cloud, something in his already burdened psyche had cracked. This last failure felt final.

When Cloud finally arrived at the showers, he was tempted to turn around and walk back out. He assumed the other boys would already have left for the SOLDIER quarters. After all, every SOLDIER gets their own room with private showers. He heard the rambunctious noise making and excited talking die down as he entered. He ignored all of their stares as he silently undressed. At this point he rather the verbal abuse to this unsettling quiet. It wasn't until he was completely bare, and the first drops of water hit his fair skin till someone talked.

"Too bad about not making SOLDIER. What is this, the third time?" A voice said that was much closer to Cloud then he thought it had any right to be.

He recognized speaker as Terrance. A classic sort of handsome boy with a chiseled jaw and dark hair. A boy whose physical attractiveness was matched by an ugly personality. A horrid cruel streak ran deep through the young man, and he had been Cloud's personal adversary on many of occasions.

"Did you know" He continued, his voice seeming to inch closer with every comment, "that four times is the limit for retaking the SOLDIER exam?"

Cloud whirled around in shock only to be shoved harshly against the shower wall, the offender's arms barricading him in against the cool and wet tiles, water now cascading over both of them. Terrance, Cloud was relieved to note, had a towel wrapped around his waist, but he was bare and vulnerable. The other boys in similar states of undress were eagerly creeping closer to the scene of action, but Cloud hardly noticed them when the taller boy leaned down to whisper in his ear, almost in a mockery of a lover's intimacy.

"You could always make a living as a honey boy down on Wall Street. People would pay good money to spend time with that face." He licked the pale shell of the shorter boy's ear.

Cloud immediately recoiled in anger and disgust and shoved the other boy back hard, his face flushed with shame at the implication. The force caused the thin towel that was preserving the other's decency to drop to the floor. Instead backing off and covering himself like Cloud assumed he would, Terrance simply smirked.

"I see you're eager for some practice before your big debut." He said as he stepped forward again, and panic dropped his stomach like a lead weight. A pounding on the shower door halted the boy's advances and caused a welcome sense of relief to wash over him.

"What the hell is taking you boys so long to shower! I was supposed to take the lot of you up to your new living arrangements five minutes ago! Now move your asses, or you can kiss your future in SOLDIER goodbye!" The loud voice of one of the instructors boomed through the thick wood. 

The other boys quickly jumped to get ready, only Terrance paused. Cloud's relief was short lived when the other boy roughly grasped his wrist to yank him forward, any protests he had were immediately swallowed up in an aggressive kiss. The bully's free hand that wasn't clasping his quickly bruising wrist reached up to thread through his wet blond spikes, yanking his head back to deepen the kiss. As soon as Cloud's mouth opened in a gasp an invading tongue breached his mouth, eagerly licking against his teeth and inner cheeks. After a few moments Cloud wrestled his wrist free and used both his hands to push his assailant away. 

"See you around at honey bee babe" He parted with a loud smack on Cloud's ass that had him yelping, "After all, SOLDIER pays well."

After Terrance left with the rest of his former classmates Cloud sank down against the wall, the water had long since gotten cold, causing goose bumps to form along his arms. The blond pulled his knees to his chest and buried his face in his arms. Tears began to well up in his eyes at the violation, but he instantly rebelled at the thought. Anger instead took ahold of his senses. Anger at his own powerlessness. It welled up inside him with no way to spill out. How could he release this deep and overwhelming sense of grief and rage. He lifted his blue eyes, dull from trauma looking for anything to save him from his suffocating circumstances when his vision honed in on a razor one of his classmates had left behind. He didn't even feel himself move, and was shocked when he saw the instrument in his hand. It looked innocent enough as he hesitantly turned it over, blade side against tender skin of his right wrist. It was already bruised from where Terrance gripped it and Cloud pressed the blade down on the marks before his brain could stop him. Once the initial bite of the blade released his torment in rivulets of crimson, it was like he couldn't stop. The once suffocating pressure eased to numb indifference. It wasn't until he made seven cuts did he let the blade rest numbly at his side. The shiny silver of the blades now tainted crimson. He was so lost in the new world he had carved out for himself in his skin, empty of emotions and feeling that he didn't hear the door creak open, nor the sharp inhale of alarm, or the pounding of feet that were rapidly approaching him. He did however hear the voice of his closest friend yell his name. Sharp in a way he had never heard before. And he certainly felt the usually gentle hands roughly grasp his thin shoulders, quickly dragging him out of the abyss he had so comfortably lost himself in. 

Zack was instantly aware of when the dull fog that clouded over his friend's usually clear blue eyes faded back into awareness. He was sure his fingers were gripping hard enough to hurt. His panic causing him to momentarily forget his SOLDIER enhancements. He eased his grip was the younger boy's eyes met his. Cloud's eyes wide with alarm.

"What are you doing here!?" He exclaimed, both embarrassed and ashamed that his friend and the person whom he admired the most had found him in such a state.

Cloud tried to pull away from the strong grip to hide himself, somehow before Zack's brain could assess the situation. The older male did not allow him to stray far, only allowing him to pull back enough so Zack could properly assess the situation. Zack's expression revealed his confusion at his younger friend's reaction. Why would Cloud pull away? Why is he bleeding? Where is he bleeding from? Cloud could see Zack's eyes flick from the injury on his right wrist then over to the bloodied razor in his left. The instant the situation clicked in his head was apparent from the way his violet eyes hardened. Zack's jaw was clenched so tight Cloud was worried he might break a molar. He slowly reached for the razor and pried it out of his young friend's loose grip. It's not like Cloud could keep it from him even if he wanted to. The older man threw away the offending item before standing up and walking away. Cloud almost thought the SOLDIER was going to leave him until he felt a rough dry towel drop on top of his head. Cloud hadn't realized that his teeth were chattering from the ice cold of the shower, which Zack had turned off at some point. Said male was now kneeling in front of him on damp tiles wrapping a smaller hand towel around his shredded wrist, his lips thinned in a grim expression that did not suit the typically peppy older teen.

"Ouch!" The blond yelped as Zack applied pressure with a firm grip.

"Some of these need stitches. We need to get you down to the infirmary." Zack stated evenly, almost coldly.

Cloud felt his heart quicken in panic. They would definitely know what happened in the infirmary. He was almost certain to get kicked out of the military, forget his dismal chances of getting into SOLDIER.

"No!" The words were out of his mouth before he could blink. 

"No?" Disbelief changing Zack's previous look of indifference. Cloud was almost relieved. Zack clenched his jaw again as he let go a Cloud's wrist to stand up and walk a couple steps away, his back turned with his hands on his hips. His posture tense. The younger male could hear his friend take in a couple of calming breaths before he was able to get his emotions under control.

"Zack..." Cloud spoke softly.

It was enough to get his friend's attention, and he wasn't sure if he wanted it as the other passionately whirled on him. 

"No!? I come in here to check on you after you take too long in the shower. I expected to find you crying, not half dead on the floor with your blood pooled around you-" the SOLDIER's voice broke off in a sob, and Cloud felt a sharp pang of guilt for being the source of his grief.

The cadet tried to stand up to comfort him, only for the blood loss to catch up to him. He would have fallen flat on his face had Zack not stepped forward to catch him. He felt himself land in Zack's strong and warm embrace. Muscular arms held him close as Zack lowered them to the ground, which confused Cloud, until he realized his friend was grabbing the towel that had fallen on the floor. Cloud's pale cheeks flushed in shame against the firm shoulder he was resting against as he felt Zack wrap the cheap white towel around his waist to preserve what little modesty he had left. The rough fabric abrasive against his skin. He heard himself squeak in surprise when those same arms gathered him close to his body and lifted him up as though he weighed nothing. To a first class SOLDIER like Zack, he probably did.

"Zack!" He cried out indignantly. Cradling his injured wrist when it was jostled by the movement. "Put me down! I can walk!"

Zack simply lifted a raven brow at his small burden, "Walk? You can't even stand right now." He replied as he made for the door. 

"Wait!" Cloud panicked, "Let me get some clothes on, I don't want people to see me like this!"

"Well whose fault is that." The older male scoffed, pushing open the door with his boot as he made his outside without a care.

Cloud felt as though his face was burning from how hard he was blushing. People were openly staring and commenting at the SOLDIER carrying the half-naked cadet out of the shower in a princess carry. Eventually the younger teen had to bury his face in the knitted top of Zack's first class uniform in order to hide from the commotion they were causing, seeking asylum in his friend's shoulder. It wasn't until they made it to the elevators that it occurred to the spiky haired boy that they weren't heading to the cadet's quarters. He peeked up curiously at his unusually quiet friend.

"Where are we going?" He asked a little nervously. Maybe Zack was actually taking him down to infirmary.

Zack let out a heavy sigh as he shifted Cloud's weight to one arm to free his other to push the elevator's button. Cloud tried not to let that impress him...or depress him.

"My room. I have a cure Materia there. And this way I can..." Zack cut himself of before he finished. Cloud's eyes narrowed; he had an idea about what he was about to say.

"So you can what, watch me!?" Cloud bit out, offended. He tried to pull out of his friend's grip so he could properly level a glare at him, but it was rather useless, in fact, the SOLDIER seemed to hardly notice the struggle. Zack was saved from further seething retorts from his young friend as the elevator doors open to allow its next passenger in and Cloud just about died in embarrassment as the general himself stepped in, albeit looking rather confused at the underdressed cadet squirmed like a pissed cat in the younger first's embrace. Though it was quite amusing when the struggles died down at the sight of Sephiroth and a rosy blush bloomed on fair cheeks and embarrassed tears filled large blue eyes. Eventually the blond haired boy had to bury his face into Zack's shoulder as the blush traveled to his ears.

"What happened?" The General coolly inquired as his keen eyes caught sight of the blood soaked cloth covering the young boy's slender wrist.

The black haired male simply shrugged.

"Kid got hurt in the showers." He said dismissively. 

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed. He knew there was more to the story.

"You should be taking him to the infirmary then." There was a question in his voice. Finally Zack looked over to him.

"Don't worry, I got it covered." 

"Zack-" The General began with a warning tone.

"I said I have it covered!" The younger bit out, steel in his voice that shocked even Sephiroth. Cloud cautiously peered from one SOLDIER to the other until his vision was blocked by Zack's shoulder when he roughly jostled him. It was almost a relief when the elevator dinged, breaking up the tense silence, and Zack briskly walked out.

When they finally arrived at Zack's apartment Cloud was immediately set upon the SOLDIER's leather couch as he hurried to grab the cure Materia. The older teen was quick, and it stung a bit when Cloud realized it was because Zack didn't trust him with himself.

"Zack, I'm not suicidal!" The chocobo haired boy stated, a little fed up. 

The older scoffed as he knelt on the floor in front of the other, taking ahold of the injured wrist, pulling the crimson stained towel off.

"Good to know that you were just sawing though your wrist as a hobby then." he deadpanned.

Cloud attempted to yank his wrist back, hissing in pain as it pulled on his wounds. A few opened again, and Zack scowled when he saw fresh blood trickle down his arm.

"Careful!" He chided disapprovingly, placing the towel back over the cuts to stop the flow.

"It wasn't like that!" The blond allowed his voice to raise in frustration.

The older man glanced up, "Then how exactly was it? Please, Cloud, you have no idea how terrifying it is to see your friend like I found you." 

"I-" Cloud began, fidgeting uncomfortably. When he glanced down to violet eyes, he was pleasantly surprised to see them full of their usual warmth, encouraging him to go on. "I was feeling pretty low when I got to the showers I admit...it wasn't until one of my classmates started saying some stuff that I..."

Zack looked completely confused. He was aware that Cloud had been bullied by his classmates. Usually it was a few cruel comments but nothing Cloud wasn't used too. The SOLDIER wasn't ashamed to admit that he had tried to use his connections to root out the bullies, but the younger man remained infuriatingly quiet on the subject, citing that he didn't want special treatment for being best friends with a first class SOLDIER.

"Did you know that I can only take the soldier exam four times Zack?" Cloud asked.

The taller teen ran a gloved hand through his raven spikes.

"Yeah." He replied with a sigh.

Cloud nodded along.  
"That's what my classmate said. He said that when I fail the exam again I...could work down at wall market as a honey boy.." Cloud mumbled out as his cheeks flushed. He desperately wished he was wearing his scarf so he could hide behind it.  
Zack barely caught the last part of what he was saying, and he was sure he wouldn't have if not for his enhanced hearing. The older teen was aware of how pretty Cloud was. Large innocent blue eyes, flawless pale skin, fluffy blond spikes, heart-shaped face. If it weren't for the boy's temper that would pop up every now and again he would have thought the boy a fragile porcelain doll. He had been wary for the boy's sake of unwanted affections that may come his way. It was one of the reason's he approached Cloud in the first place. He made sure to beat the shit out of any potential perverts that came sniffing around. As far as he was aware, no one had the balls to cross the first class SOLDIER that was best friends with the cadet.

"Did he...do anything?" Zack asked a little awkwardly, but when he saw the blush color his cheeks and tears gathering in the corners of hid blue eyes he had to let go of Cloud's wrist, lest his bones be crushed in his white knuckled grip.

"Did he do anything!?" He asked more insistently, and when Cloud shyly glanced to the side in shame he felt like someone punched him in the gut. Had someone assaulted him!? Had he failed to protect his friend?...Oh God, he found him naked in the showers on the floor. Zack allowed himself to glace towards the towel covering his friend's decency, and gulped as he hesitantly reached for it. He hadn't thought to check him for those kinds of injuries. He was snapped out of his spiraling thoughts when small hands quickly clasped his gloved ones. He looked up into Cloud's face, he wasn't sure if it was possible for the small male to get anymore red.

"He didn't rape me!" He hissed out in mortification. Not that Terrance wasn't going to try if he had been uninterrupted, but it was best not to tell Zack that part. Cloud would have been able to figure something out anyway...probably.

The older male sat back on his heels with a sigh of relief till his eyes caught some peculiar bruising that peeked out of the soiled towel. He gently removed the cloth to assess the marks. There were clear finger marks purpling the white skin. Zack breathed through his rage.

"But?" The SOLDIER softly prompted. He knew there was more to the story.

"He.. kissed me." Cloud confessed, and Zack looked up in alarm when he heard his voice break and the flood gates opened, "He kissed me! He pinned me against the wall and wouldn't let me go! And then he said that when I worked at wall market he would come visit me!"

Cloud was now crying so hard that he was sobbing. He felt his weight shift as strong arms gathered him up as Zack lifted the smaller boy to sit him on his lap as the elder took a seat on the couch. Placing a gloved hand in the back of Cloud's blond spikes to encourage him to rest his face in the SOLDIER's neck. Vaguely through his distress Cloud felt the cool sensation of his skin knitting itself back together as the older teen healed him as he rocked him. Whether it be the soothing motion, the warmth of his friend, or the stress of the day, Cloud felt himself slowly slip away into a peaceful oblivion.

When Zack heard the soft snoring of the younger boy he gently lifted him to take him to his room. He quietly laid him down on his dark gray sheets and went over to his dresser to grab a pair of black sweats. All of his stuff was going to be gigantic on the tiny cadet, but it was better than letting him sleep in a wet towel. He dressed him quickly and pulled the covers up to his chin and stepped away from the bed with a sigh. Cloud hadn't told him any names, and he was almost certain he wasn't going to. The chocobo was stubborn like that. He rubbed at the back of his black spikes and let out another sigh, finally placing his hands on his hips.

"I'm going to find out Spikey. I promise." He glanced determinedly towards the bed. This event was never happening again. He was going to protect his friend no matter what. There was now a darkness in Zack's eyes. A darkness that not even Angeal's death could burden upon Zack's unwavering spirit.


	2. Like Ink on Paper

Cloud awoken to the scent of coffee and the sensation of momentary confusion.

“There was no coffee in the barracks.” He thought to himself. “And this bed is way too comfortable.”

The cadet quickly sat himself up in a panic as reality came crashing back to him. He looked down at his lap as he felt the sheets pool around his waist.

“These aren’t mine…” The blond muttered to himself as he noticed he was wearing a pair of black sweats. He buried his face in his hands when he realized that Zack must have changed his clothes. How embarrassing.

“Well, I could hardly let you sleep in a wet towel, now could I.” Zack’s called from where he was leaning nonchalantly against his bedroom doorway, coffee pressed to his lips as he took a sip. He was dressed in a similar pair of grey sweats and a black muscle shirt.

Cloud allowed his hands to slide from his face into his lap as he glanced at the figure in the doorway. Man did the SOLDIER move quiet. He never even heard him.

“Sooo, what now?” Cloud asked timidly as he peered through blond bangs.

Zack let out a deep exhale and walked towards the bed. Setting his coffee down on the bedside table before sitting down next to the younger boy on the mattress.

“I think that depends on you.” He stated seriously. “Cloud” A battle calloused hand clasped the addressed boy’s chin when he refused to meet Zack’s eyes out of shame. “I need you to promise me that this won’t happen again. I don’t think I could take it if I were to find you like that again.”

It was so strange to see this side of Zack. It didn’t suit the usually hyperactive older teen. It caused Cloud shift uncomfortably and he almost forgot that the older just addressed him.

“You won’t.” Cloud promised. He met the other’s glowing gaze as Zack searched for any lie in his natural blues. He must have found what he was looking for as his chin was released. The dark-haired SOLDIER stood up and grabbed his mug.

“For now, I want you to stay here a couple of nights.”

“What? Why?” Cloud asked confused. Not that Cloud minded staying at Zack’s apartment. It was a whole hell of a lot more comfortable than his own tiny bunk bed with a paper-thin mattress. But he didn’t want to be babysat by his friend.

Zack raised a brow that seemed to scream, “Are you serious right now?” But the older teen humored him.

“Well, for one, the freak that assaulted you is still out there. And I don’t suppose you are going to save us some time by just telling me who I need to beat the shit out of.” Zack answered.

Cloud’s face set stubbornly at the implication, and before he could tell Zack he didn’t want any favors the dark-haired man waved him off with his free hand.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so. So, in the meantime I want you to stay here for a little while. Also, do you honestly think I’m going to let you go off on your own after I found you with your wrist slashed all to hell? That’s cute kid.” Zack scoffed as he turned around and walked out of the room as Cloud sputtered in indignation.

It was a little after eight in the morning when Cloud felt mentally prepared listen to his stomach and go hunt for some food in Zack’s kitchen. When he stood up and stretched, he felt his borrowed sweats head south and let out a sigh of irritation as he quickly halted their descent. At some point he would have to drop by the cadet’s barracks to pick up his own clothes if the older male insisted upon him staying here. He had to tighten the drawstrings and cuff the pant legs so they didn’t pool around his feet. His exposed skin broke out in goosebumps as he realized he was bare-chested and began looking around the SOLDIER’s room for a shirt. He found a navy blue sweatshirt, sighing in relief at the warmth it provided when he pulled it over his head. A faint hint of Zack’s cologne suggesting that it was previously worn, but it smelt clean enough. The blond was rather surprised to see Zack still up and about his apartment as the younger sat down on a stool at the counter. He scowled at the ravenette when noticed the smirk on the other’s face. The older teen couldn’t resist though. The hem of his sweatshirt went halfway to his knees and the cuffs, that the younger was currently shoving up in irritation, extended past Cloud’s slender wrists. He tried not to entertain the thought that Cloud looked rather cute like that.

“I thought you would have left by now.” Cloud voiced his thoughts, ignoring the elder’s amusement. Zack often had early morning responsibilities. If he wasn’t on a mission, he was at meetings or instructing a class.

“I asked for a couple of days off.” He stated casually as he moved around the kitchen, popping a piece of bread in the toaster and turning on the stove.

Cloud wanted to pull out his hair in frustration.

“I’m fine Zack.” He groaned out.

“We’ll see.” He responded as he cracked an egg into the pan.

Cloud didn’t bother responding. He needed to honestly consider what he was going to do. He wasn’t going back to the cadet classes for the forth time. He couldn’t handle that kind of harassment from his instructors. The third time around was rough enough. It didn’t seem to matter that he would be the same age as the new recruits since he lied on his application. He was turning sixteen this year.

It was almost three days before Zack loosened the leash of his ever-vigilant gaze and Cloud couldn’t be more grateful for it. He had to fight the sigh of relief that wanted to escape every time Zack playfully ruffled his hair or hip checked him as he walked by. He was glad to see that his friend’s easygoing personality was coming back, even if he was painfully reminded that some things have permanently warped their friendship when a knife was pried from his hands any time he wanted to do something as simple as cut his sandwich. Whatever, he could handle it, as long Zack didn’t lose that light that made him uniquely Zack.

Cloud was both content and disappointed he settled for signing up for the infantry as he bid time for the next SOLDIER exam. Zack was even less thrilled when he told him.

“Infantry? You know they send them to the front lines sometimes, right?” The taller questioned, leaning back against the counter with his arms crossed over his muscled chest.

“Uh, yeah.” Cloud answered, a little dumbfounded. “I would have been at the front lines as SOLDIER as well.”

Zack shifted uncomfortably. The younger had a point, but that was before Zack was faced with the threat of the younger’s mortality.

“I don’t know Cloud…” He hesitated.

“Good thing it’s not up to you then.” Cloud responded sharply. A little less than pleased with his friend’s lack of enthusiasm.

Zack took a calming breath in as he avoided allowing his emotions from taking over. The taller man had bite his tongue to prevent the biting words that wanted to remind Cloud that as a first class SOLDIER, second to only Sephiroth, he could make sure the only position Cloud had in the military was a secretary’s intern. Instead, he reluctantly nodded his head. He needed to be supportive of his friend’s decision.

“You’re right, just…be careful.”

Cloud just cracked a wry grin. “It’s not like I’m going to get hurt purposefully.” He wanted to take the words back as soon as he saw the darker-haired man wince sharply.

Zack stood up from where he was leaning and tugged the shorter into a firm embrace, resting his chin on top of the other’s head.

“Guess this means that you will be moving to the infantry barracks then.” He mumbled unhappily into the blond spikes.

Honestly, Cloud had mixed feelings about that. On one hand he would be relieved to be out from under Zack’s eye, on the other hand he had gotten rather comfy in the spacious apartment. He was sure Zack wanted his bed back though. For whatever reason the taller insisted on taking the couch. Probably so he could make sure Cloud wouldn’t sneak out the front door.

After promising that he would keep Zack updated on his PHS under threat that the SOLDIER would come looking for him, he finally made his way down to infantry. A lot of the members were older than he was, but he also recognized quite a few of them from his previous classes as a cadet. Some of them from his most recent classes that had obviously failed the exams as well. Few words were exchanged as Cloud made his way towards his bunk, setting down his meagre belongings. He flopped down on his back and closed his eyes. He wasn’t going to lie. It still stung that he hadn’t made it, that he reacted so pathetically, and that he had burdened his best friend in such a way. He internally winced when he recalled how he broke down in Zack’s arms.

“Cloud, right?” A voice broke him from his thoughts.

The blond opened an eye at the query. A boy close to his age with short brown hair and gentle features stood over his bed. If Cloud remembered right, this boy was named Jean. He dropped out not long after the classes for SOLDIER had started after being bullied as relentlessly as Cloud was. They had been the shortest ones in their group with Jean being only a few centimeters taller than the blond. Cloud decided to take pity on the other when he started to fidget uncomfortably at the silence. Probably thinking that Cloud didn’t remember who he was.

“Jean, yeah I remember.” He said as he offered his hand which the other accepted with a grateful smile.

Since Jean and Cloud had been the shortest boys amongst the other cadets, they had been the targets of much harassment and hazing. It didn’t help that both of them had delicate features. A subject of much relentless teasing in the midst of a torrent of budding testosterone and aggression. Most of the teasing had been reserved to off colored comments, but Cloud knew that the brown-haired boy faired under the treatment a lot more poorly than he did. Jean also didn’t have the benefit of having a SOLDIER as a best friend. He had heard a few rumors of incident’s that had occurred to the other boy amongst the other cadets’ whispers. During the short period of time that Jean had been a cadet, it seemed as though his hazel eyes became increasingly haunted, lending credence to the rumor’s claims.

“Welcome to the infantry. I’m glad to have a friendly face in the unit.” Jean said excitedly.

Cloud fought a frown. How bad did the other have it if he thought someone as surly as Cloud was a friendly face. The two had never been close, despite the similar treatment they faced, Cloud didn’t feel like he had a lot in common with the other boy.

All in all the infantry wasn’t that different than the SOLDIER classes. Sure, the content was slightly different, but his superiors were still assholes that took out all of their own shortcomings upon the less fortunate. And don’t get Cloud started on his fellow unit members. Some were more decent than others, and he was getting along fairly well with Jean, but the majority were jerks. Less arrogance and more inferiority complex desperate to establish some sort of pecking order, and somehow Cloud and Jean ended up on the bottom. Not that Cloud was particularly surprised about that.

“Hey! Move your asses!” His asshole instructor Sergeant Otega shouted, veins bulging from his neck. He was having them run laps around the field. Despite being small, Cloud was rather quick, and he didn’t have too much difficulty keeping up with the others at the front. He felt guilty for leaving Jean somewhere in the back, but he wasn’t here to fail.

“Look at this, you pathetic lugs can’t outrun a light-footed fairy that weighs 100 pounds soaking wet!” Otega further insulted and Cloud could hear the displeasured grunts amongst the panting from around him. Great, as if he wasn’t hated enough before. Cloud didn’t allow himself to be discouraged, he used that indignation and anger to push himself even harder and swiftly overtook the rest of the group, surprising even his instructor.

“Well, if the fairy doesn’t have some grit.” His instructor begrudgingly affirmed when Cloud finished his laps. Cloud was trying to catch his breath as the rest of his unit trickled over the finish line, looking upon the blond with a mix of emotions. Some with respect, others with conceit, but it was his new friend’s expression that alarmed him the most. After all, it was one he wore on his own face on many of occasions when he looked at Zack. Envy. However, he didn’t remember his own expression ever being that dark. When Jean noticed the shorter’s attention he immediately brightened, and Cloud assumed that he must have imagined it as Jean ran up to him. Cloud briefly wondered how he still had the energy.

“You were so fast! How did you learn to run like that!?” He chattered excitedly, and Cloud felt a rare smile twitch at his lips. He didn’t explain that he made Zack train with him in order to compensate for his slight body. Say what you want about their friendship, but the ravenette was no pushover as an instructor. He drilled Cloud harder than any other of his instructors, just without the demeaning remarks. Zack always believed in Cloud even when he didn’t believe in himself. Cloud knew that Jean didn’t have anyone like that, so he played it off with a shrug.

“Way to go little man!” A friendly baritone shouted as a sweaty arm draped itself across his shoulders.

Cloud’s nose wrinkled as he internally recoiled at the closeness and shrugged off the offending appendage. The voice simply laughed.

“Barton.” A well-built man with sandy blond hair offered his hand with a grin.

He was tall, not Zack tall, but around six foot, Cloud noted as he somewhat reluctantly accepted the friendly gesture. His frown deepened when the taller laughed and vigorously shook his hand in a way that practically rattled his teeth.

As promised Cloud updated Zack and turned off his PHS and slipped under his covers for the night. The infantry wasn’t too different from what he was already used to. More training with guns, and having a couple of friends were both new. He had Zack, but their friendship was accompanied by Cloud’s sense of hero-worship and envy. His new friendship with Jean and Barton felt more equal and in turn he felt more worthy of it. Sometimes Zack felt so bright that he thought he was going to get burned. The SOLDIER was everything Cloud wanted to be. Strong, righteous….tall, he thought begrudgingly. He didn’t mean to feel this way, and he knew Zack would be upset if he knew how much time Cloud spent wishing he could be like his best friend. Trying not to let his thoughts consume him he pulled his scratchy covers over his head and concentrated on falling asleep.

Sephiroth was sitting in his office at his computer trying to get his reports done for the day when a sigh interrupted his concentration for the fifth time in a row. Out of patience, he finally addressed his intruder.

“What do you need Zackary?” He deadpanned, managing to keep most of his annoyance out of his voice.

The younger first had resorted to doing squats when Sephiroth began flat out ignoring him after telling him whatever he had to say could wait till after his work was finished.

“It just doesn’t make any sense.” The raven ranted in between squats. “Cloud is like, way better than half the people that passed the SOLDIER exams, I would know I trained him.”

“You know, most people would complain about a first- class showing favoritism to a lowly cadet.” Sephiroth was concerned about Zack’s, quite frankly, obsessive devotion to the younger boy. It worried him how others would perceive the attachment. Zack simply shot him an annoyed look at the implication.

“Whatever,” he carried on, “Anyway, like I said, kid’s got talent. I don’t understand how he didn’t pass this time. There has got to be something else to it.”

“There is.” The General replied, causing Zack to cease his squats so suddenly he almost toppled backwards. The silverette’s thin lips quirked in a slight amused grin.

“What!? Why didn’t you tell me earlier!” Zack shouted accusingly as he now stood in front of the elder’s desk, hands on his hips.

Sephiroth waited with an impassive expression till the other settled down before pulling a yellowed folder from his desk draw and silently passed it over to the younger’s impatient hands. His smirk quickly tugged down into a frown when Zack rudely yanked it from his hand. Immediately he flipped it open and began reading. After a few moments passed violet-blue eyes met pale green.

“I don’t understand…He had a poor psych evaluation, so what. Half the guys that made it into SOLDIER are batshit crazy, have you met Roche?”

“Unfortunately yes-“ the General began before he was cut off by Zack’s tirade.

“I swear the guy is married to his bike. I mean, I like motorcycles and all, but that dude is seriously next level-“

“Zack!”

The addressed startled a little at the raised voice. Sephiroth rarely shouted.

“That isn’t the only reason.” The General motioned for the other to turn the page and when Zack looked back up from his reading he was grief-stricken. The usually happy-go-lucky teen was starting to resemble battle worn SOLDIERs and that distinction unnerved him.

“Mako sensitivity?” He asked aloud in a soft tone, almost as if he were afraid that if he said it any louder it would make it true.

The raven-haired man took a seat in a chair by the wall and buried one of his hands in his ink-dark hair, the other laying limply across his lap as it clutched the now creased manila folder. He was silent for few moments before muttering out

“He never had a chance, did he?” The young SOLDIER’s voice bitter with the rhetorical question. His face set in an uncharacteristic glare as he stood up and strode over to the General’s desk and tossed the folder onto the wooden surface before slamming his palms down, the wood creaking its protest under the enhanced strength.

“Why the hell did they never tell him!? Why did they continue to let him run his ass off, working three times as hard as anyone else to get into a program he couldn’t hope to get into because of something medical! Something he can’t control!?” Zack angrily shouted, but Sephiroth didn’t answer. He didn’t need to. It was simple really. They didn’t tell him because Shinra couldn’t have been bothered to care. They didn’t care about a simple mountain boy who put his everything into attaining a dream everyone thought impossible, including himself. Everyone but Zack, and what? Zack was supposed to be the one to tell him that “Oops, sorry, guess you aren’t cut out for it after all.”. Zack was the one who pushed him to keep reapplying for the exams. An image of Cloud, bleeding out naked in the showers popped up uninvited into his head and the wood beneath his palms groaned warningly at the abuse before the raven let up.

Sephiroth dared not talk to the other when he was in such a state. The general had never seen him so tense. Not on the battlefield, and not when he slain his own mentor. The muscles rippled underneath tan skin with the visible restraint. When Sephiroth was about to call the younger first’s name, he just picked up the crinkled folder and stormed out. Slamming the door behind him hard enough to warp the metal of the door frame. The general let out a long sigh. The darkness that was beginning to creep into the younger’s eyes seemed to be getting darker by the day.

Zack had brought the manila folder with him to his apartment. He had called Cloud over with every intention of telling him about his mako sensitivity, but when he finally heard the dreaded knock on his door he panicked. He quickly shoved the folder in a dresser drawer before going to his front door to let the young infantryman in. The younger boy looked up at him with questioning blue eyes, and Zack tried to smile back reassuringly. It apparently didn’t work as concern immediately crossed over the youth’s face.

“What’s wrong?” The blond asked as soon as he stepped into the apartment. The whine that left Zack’s throat caused the younger’s heart to quicken and his eyes widen in alarm. Never had he heard the SOLDIER make such a noise, and before he could inquire after more he was swept up into a bone crushing hug with his face pressed tightly against the first’s firm chest.

“Z-Zack!” the muffled voice protested, and the dark-haired man allowed the other to pull back far enough to breath. When Cloud looked up to ask the other once more what was wrong, his voice caught in his throat. The once cheery and bright eyes were dull and dark, burdened with sorrow.

When Zack noticed the shorter’s concerned staring he offered a weak grin and reached up a hand to playfully tug at a lock of Cloud’s soft hair.

“I had a fight with Aerith,” He lied, cursing himself at how easily it spilled from his lips “I just needed someone to stay over.”

Zack felt awful about lying. Especially about someone as wonderful as his girlfriend. He then felt worse when he realized that he hadn’t talked to her in the midst of all of the craziness that had happened with Cloud.

Immediately he felt Cloud’s slender arms come around his waist as he attempted to comfort him. The guilt was practically suffocating him at this point. It wasn’t hard to convince the blond to stay, and he was especially surprised when the blond was willing to share his bed with him. Huh, he must have looked worse than he thought. He had half meant it as a joke, but he certainly wasn’t going to complain. He could use some human comfort, he was a physical guy to begin with, it was Cloud who tended to avoid all human contact.

Luckily for Cloud, he had some clothes leftover at Zack’s from the last time he spent the night, so he didn’t have to feel like a little kid swimming in Zack’s clothes. It was unnerving to Cloud how silent the other was when they were brushing their teeth side by side in the bathroom. The blond tilted his head up to glance at his friend, but the other didn’t take notice of the gaze, seemingly lost in thought. When they both settled into the large bed it only took moments for the warmth of the SOLDIER’s body heat to lull Cloud to sleep.

Cloud wasn’t sure what woke him until he heard choked sniffles. He had thought he was still dreaming until he cracked his eyes and saw the older teen’s back, shaking with repressed emotion. Cloud felt awful for him. “Did Aerith break up with him?” He thought for one horrid moment. He knew the elder had been pretty sweet on her. He hesitantly reached out a hand towards the other’s back. He thought he had made a mistake when Zack stilled beneath his palm and was about to retract, but the other quickly whirled around, grabbing the younger and pulling him to his chest in a tight embrace, crying openly into soft yellow spikes.

Little did Cloud know that Zack was not mourning the loss of a beloved girlfriend, but with grief at Cloud’s pitiful circumstances as he warred with himself. Torn between the honor that demanded he tell the warm body in his arms the truth, and his protective nature that warned him with horrid images of Cloud’s pale and bleeding body. It didn’t take long for one side to overtake the other. His sniffles ceased as he made his decision. He would hold off on telling Cloud for now. He would just wait until a little more time has passed, and the sting of his latest failure had faded. He would tell him when he could take a couple of weeks off to watch him and make sure that he would be alright.

Cloud felt when the shaking of Zack’s chest stopped and the taller nuzzle deeper into his hair, his breathing evening out as the older teen succumbed to sleep. Eventually Cloud too allowed himself to fall asleep, unaware of the encroaching darkness that slowly seeped into the depths of Zack’s impeccable character. Like a drop of black ink that bleed into the pristine white of a sheet of paper.


	3. Vulnerable Fragility and Hidden Darkness

Zack was feeling rather embarrassed. He couldn’t believe he let himself break down like that in front of Cloud. He supposed it was only fair since the younger broke down in his arms first. Especially since he knew how much the younger hated appearing weak. The SOLDIER rolled away from his friend so he could glance at the clock on his bedside table, suppressing a chuckle at how the younger followed the movement, instinctively seeking out Zack’s warmth.

“Shit!” Zack hissed out quietly as he saw the time blinking inconspicuously at him.

He started to gently disentangle their limbs so that he could sneak away to a meeting that he had in thirty minutes. Sephiroth would not look upon it well if he were to be late. He had enough time to take a quick shower though.

Cloud awoke to the sensation of heat and humidity. The scent of Zack’s spicy body wash wafting to his nose. His brow scrunched in confusion as he slowly opened his eyes. He wasn’t really prepared to handle the image of six-foot-something solid muscle glistening from the damp of the shower. His blue eyes unintentionally tracking the movement of a drop of water that was making its way from Zack’s collar bone down the valley of his pectorals and abdominal muscles with its journey ending by darkening black sweats hanging low on cut hips. The SOLDIER was running a towel over untamable black spikes to rid them of water. A grin appearing as soon as he caught Cloud’s eyes, the blond ducked his head in embarrassment at being caught staring.

“Sorry to run buddy, but I got a meeting this morning. Will you be alright fending for yourself?” Zack felt bad leaving without making sure the younger didn’t need anything, but Cloud knew where everything was.

Cloud nodded his head and averted his gaze as soon as he glanced back over as the older man shamelessly dropped his pants and began dressing in his first-class uniform. “And why would he feel shame with a body like his?” Cloud thought sullenly, once again allowing his envious thoughts to run rampant, though there was a foreign emotion lingering in the back of his mind that sent an unfamiliar warmth through his body. A heavy hand plopped down on his head and tousled his hair.

“I’m heading out kiddo.” He said with a handsome grin, and Cloud couldn’t help but return with a small smile of his own. His envious thoughts couldn’t hold a grudge for too long against the never-ending optimism of Zack Fair.

Cloud got up and dressed shortly after the first-class SOLDIER. He couldn’t dawdle too long as he had drills that morning. He mind kept going back to last night and how distraught his friend had been, and how bizarre it was that the older teen seemed to have just bounced back as if there was no issue to begin with. He hated to bring something up that would drag the other down, but at the same time he was a little alarmed with Zack’s complete 180 of attitude this morning. I mean, Cloud still was feeling down from failing the SOLDIER exams, its only natural to mope a little bit, right? But this is Zack we are talking about.

Luckily for Cloud no one at the infantry barracks asked where he was the night before, so he figured that the occasional grunt went off to do their own thing every now and again, that or no one could be bothered to care.

“Hey Cloud!” His new friend Jean chirped when he walked in and he gave a polite nod in acknowledgment.

“Are you on guard duty tonight?”

The blond had to frown at that, quite frankly he had no idea. Luckily the other seemed to piece together his confusion.

“There is a list posted in the main area.” Jean supplied.

As it turned out Cloud WAS on guard duty that night and was kicking himself for his carelessness. It would have reflected upon him rather poorly if a newbie such as himself didn’t show up for their round of guard duty. He made a mental note to himself to thank Jean. He was paired with someone he couldn’t recall the name off. The individual was neither kind nor rude to him, which worked just as well seeing as he wasn’t really in the mood for small talk. Though some noise might have been nice in the stillness of the night. A few SOLDIERs and fellow infantrymen passed by, but other than that it was complete silence.

“Hey! If it isn’t my favorite honeyboy!”

On the other hand, complete silence was beginning to sound great as Cloud momentarily considered ignoring his persistent adversary. The decision was made for him when Terrance stood directly in front of him with a vicious sneer, pulling off his Shinra issued helmet that was hiding his face.

“There we are. I thought it was you. I didn’t think I could mistake your short stature.” He openly mocked, causing Cloud to roll his eyes. As if he didn’t hear comments ever single day about his height. One other Third-Class that was accompanying the jerk chuckled at his expense.

“How’s Infantry? Get any potential costumers yet?” He sneered and Cloud batted away an offending hand that attempted to touch his face.

“Ouch, and here I thought we close.” The older boy mocked.

Cloud finally allowed his eyes to meet the other’s formerly brown eyes, now glowing that SOLDIER trademark blue. Cloud felt a sharp pang at the reminder that Terrance was indeed a Third-class, sporting the light blue uniform that the blond had often dreamed of wearing. He swiftly schooled his features into one of indifference, but it must not have been quick enough as the taller shook his head in mock sympathy.

“It’s too bad really, that not everyone is cut out for this, huh?”

The comment cut deeper than Cloud liked to admit.

“I look good though don’t I?” The prick further taunted as he ran the hand that wasn’t holding Cloud’s helmet captive through his thick chocolate-brown hair. Cloud was saved from making a retort when an annoyed sigh cut though the night air and Terrance’s eyes flicked over to the trooper next to Cloud.

“Got something to say?” Terrance challenged with narrowed eyes.

“Not particularly, but if you’re done monologuing could you move on, cause we still have work to do” The other trooper stated before tacking on a, “Sir” as an afterthought in faux respect. Cloud almost felt his jaw drop at the other’s careless attitude. Apparently this one had no fear.

“Why you little-!” The third-class started with a face reddened in humiliation before the other SOLDIER accompanying the bully let a snicker break out.

“Come on man, he got you good, let’s just go and get those drinks.” The other Third-Class laughed out as he slapped a hand on Terrance’s shoulder and Cloud restrained the desire to sigh in relief.

“Yeah, whatever.” The bully chuffed out in order to save face, rudely dropping the blond’s helmet on the ground with a look in his eyes promising that it wasn’t over, giving the helmet a little kick before walking away.

“Dick.” The other infantryman spit out, causing Cloud to choke out a disbelieving laugh.

“Dude!”

The other ignored him as he bent over to grab the blond’s helmet, handing it back with an expression hidden behind his own.

“Thanks.” Cloud muttered out softly, wondering what was up with the silence.

“Didn’t do it for you, the dude’s voice was grating on my ears.” He callously replied and Cloud ignored the initial bite of offense as he accepted the vision obscuring part of his uniform, placing it over his blond spikes.

“Why do you let him walk over you?” He continued

“Come again?” The blond wasn’t sure he heard right, how in the world was ignoring that prick letting him walk over him.

“That guy seems like the type that you need to bloody his nose a few times before he will leave you alone.”

Cloud almost opened his mouth to tell the other that Terrance was at the top of their class, that no matter how many times Cloud faced him, he probably would never beat him. Now the bully had mako enhancements on top of it all.

“Even if you can’t beat him, it wouldn’t stop me from trying. My pride wouldn’t let me.” It was like this guy could read Cloud’s mind and the blond felt a pang of shame. He used to be like that with Terrance. No matter how many times the other beat Cloud down he would get up again to face him. In fact, that was one of the things about the former cadet that would piss his adversary off.

“Thanks-uh” Cloud left hanging when he realized that he didn’t know his name.

“Dante” The other said in a grunt.

Even if the other was kind of an ass, Cloud decided right then and there that he liked him. He seemed like the type who didn’t take shit from anybody, no matter who they were.

The rest of the patrol went on uneventful and quiet, and when it was over the two amicably parted ways. Cloud couldn’t help but wonder where the other was headed, as the infantry barracks were in the opposite direction, and the spiky-headed teen was beat and ready to hit the mattress and sleep. He was surprised the other still had energy for anything else, but it wasn’t his place to pry. He made sure to set his alarm on his PHS for four hours later, so he didn’t sleep too long. Those on night shift duty got one day off to recover and reset their schedule and Cloud wanted to make sure that he still slept some at night. He barely managed it through bleary eyes, and he started lazily shucking off his uniform before crawling under the covers.

When Cloud had drills next, he was surprised to hear controlled breathing to his left keeping pace with him as his feet pounded the track. By now, the blond was always at the head of the pack, and he wasn’t used to hearing someone so close. When the finish line was in eyesight the individual promptly pulled forward and outpaced him, though Cloud was right on his heels.

“Finally! Some competition for our Fairy Lightfoot.” Instructor Otega barked out, using that horrid nickname that seemed to have stuck. Now even the men in his unit used it. Though most used it without any maliciousness behind it.

“It’s good to have you back Dante!” Otega cheered as he clapped the first-place runner’s shoulder. Cloud felt his head snap up from where he was bent over trying to catch his breath.

“Dante?” He spoke aloud.

“Yeah, this here fella is often requested for missions due to his advanced skill level.” His instructor praised in a way that was very unlike him. Usually, he was insulting everyone. “He just got back a couple days ago.”

That would explain why Cloud hadn’t seen him before. The other boy seemed impassive to the praise he was receiving and turned to study Cloud with dark gray eyes that hinted at Wutian descent. The boy looked to be close to his age and of average height with compact muscles hidden beneath his uniform. He had short black hair that laid bare a scar running through his right brow, but the thing that caught his attention the most was spatter of freckles, darker than Cloud’s own, that dusted his cheeks. Most Wutians didn’t have freckles, so Cloud assumed he was mixed. A heavy hand slapping him on the back pulled him from his thoughts.

“Looks like you have some competition my man!” Barton cheered.

“Hmm.” The shorter blond hummed in acknowledgment.

Barton then moved over to the other boy placing one of his sweaty arms over the newcomer’s shoulders, much like he did to Cloud upon their first meeting. The dark-haired boy didn’t shrug him off like Cloud did, but he looked rather annoyed at the large-man’s proximity. Jean took the opportunity to sidle close to Cloud and whisper in a hushed tone.

“That’s Dante Feng. Rumor has it that he was on the fast track to SOLDIER till he almost killed some poor bastard in a training match.”

“Hmmm” Cloud hummed again. “He doesn’t seem violent.” He commented, watching Barton throwing his head back and guffawing over something Dante said, though the freckled teen’s expression had never changed. “Besides, it seems as though Barton is familiar with him. I don’t think he would befriend someone bad.”

Jean snorted in ill humor.

“You shouldn’t let appearances fool you.” Was eerily said.

Something in his friend’s tone caused Cloud’s blond’s brows to furrow in confusion.

“Anyway,” The other quickly deflected before Cloud could question it, “It wasn’t until he went crazy on the instructor who tried to pull them apart that he really screwed up his chances. I wouldn’t get caught up with him. Apparently, his family has connections to the Wutian mafia.”

“Looks like it’s too late to avoid the acquaintance now.” Cloud commented, though honestly, he was more intrigued than anything. It seemed as though he was correct in his assumption that Dante took no shit from anyone.

“What, why?” Jean asked, almost panicked.

“Cause here comes Barton with Dante now.” Cloud said dryly as he nodded in their direction, and sure enough the burly sandy-haired man was dragging the shorter man, who looked very unamused, by the arm towards them. Cloud had to suppress a snort of amusement when he heard Jean cuss under his breath.

When they came to a stop before their shorter companions Barton began eagerly making introductions.

“This chocobo-head is Cloud. He looks unfriendly, but he’s a softy deep down.” The tall man said with a ruffle of the younger blond’s spikes. Earning his offending limb a swat before it was removed from the position.

Cloud was slightly unnerved by the dark-charcoal eyes that seemed to bore into his soul. When Barton introduced Jean, he momentarily broke contact to give the other a cursory nod of acknowledgment before resuming his staring match with Cloud’s blue eyes and the younger felt like he couldn’t look away first. Finally, Dante’s serious expression broke with a slight grin and he turned on his heel and walked away. Cloud was confused, but he couldn’t help the feeling that he passed a test somehow. Annoyed, the younger blond felt Barton’s burly arm rest on his shoulders.

“That means he approves of you.” Their tallest friend said with something like pride in his voice.

“And that’s a good thing?” Jean bit out sarcastically.

Immediately Barton disengaged from Cloud in order to attack the other boy with head ruffles.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he will warm up to you in no time!” He reassured.

“I don’t WANT him to!” Jean complained as he futilely tried fending of Barton’s friendly wrestling. Cloud was just glad that it wasn’t him. It was bad enough that Zack insisted on constantly messing up his spikes.

Zack knew that he put off going to the slums for far too long when he saw his girlfriend’s cross expression with her hands covered in dirt from tending the flowers perched on her hips.

“Well, it took you long enough.” She lightly chastised in her sweet voice.

Zack sheepishly rubbed the back off his head as the old wooden planks in the church creaked with his approach. When he reached her he apologized and swept her slight form up into a hug. He felt incredibly guilty, but it stemmed from more than just his lie to Cloud, or the fact he hadn’t contacted her for a while. He just couldn’t place what it was yet.

“Sorry, it’s been busy.” He muttered into her chestnut-hair before pulling back.

“Uh, the phone?” She said, still slightly upset, but she couldn’t stay mad too long when her boyfriend looked like a kicked puppy. She let out a sigh before kneeling back down by her flowers.

“So, what’s wrong?” She inquired. She felt the warmth of the other as he sat down next to her, strangely silent in a way that disquieted her. It was a few moments before he was able to collect his rampant thoughts and say what was on his mind.

“It’s about Cloud.” He finally admitted, looking at the flowers in order to avoid his girlfriend’s knowing gaze. Aerith’s green eyes crinkled in worry, she felt a sharp pang of envy before swiftly shoving that thought away. Lately, even when they were together, his little blond friend was all he could talk about. Despite this, she still felt concern for the other as Zack seemed really torn up. When Zack felt his girlfriend’s hand on his arm he glanced over and caught her worried emerald eyes.

“I think I did something bad.” He confessed, and Aerith felt her heart clench in dread. “It turns out that Spikey can’t be SOLDIER because he has something called mako-sensitivity. I was going to tell him, but when I saw him, I couldn’t work up the nerve and I ended up hiding the results. Even now he still thinks he has a chance at making it.”

Aerith let out an audible breath of relief, but luckily her boyfriend wasn’t paying attention.

“You really should let him know.” She gently chastised, “It isn’t right to leave him in the dark like this.”

“I know.” He groaned out, drawing up his knees and resting his forehead against them. “And usually, I would without thinking twice…but- “

“But?” Aerith softly encouraged, watching how the young First-class burrowed further into his knees.

“I found him in the showers, after this last SOLDIER exam. He was acting a little strange, so after a few minutes of waiting I ended up following him.” He paused again and felt a reassuring squeeze to his arm, prompting him to look at his girlfriend with bleary eyes, attempting to keep the tears at bay.

“I found him sitting in a pool of his own blood under the shower spray, his wrist all slashed to hell.”

Aerith gasped and let go of her boyfriend’s arm to cover her mouth.

“That’s awful! Is he ok?”

The raven-haired teen sighed.

“Yeah, but that’s why I don’t want to tell him yet. I’m not sure what he would do if I crumbled the last little bit of hope he has. Especially since I have been the one encouraging him this whole time”

“Zack-“ Aerith started warningly, but Zack swiftly turned around and clutched both of her hands in his.

“I know, but it’s only for a little while. Until he gets over this last failure, and I can take some time off to watch him!” He ranted with such desperation in his eyes that the Cetra was at a loss for words and she couldn’t find it in her to shoot him down. There was a vulnerable fragility in his eyes that she wasn’t accustomed to seeing, and it frightened her.

When her boyfriend finally left the church, he seemed to take all the air in the room with him, and Aerith couldn’t help the dark feelings of doubt that spread through her and the lingering sensation that something truly awful was about to unfold. Even her flowers seemed to shift uneasily.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.” She called out into the now empty room.

Cloud tried to keep his annoyed sighs to himself as he ate lunch with his friends. Now typically that would be a wonderful thing, except that Jean who was sitting next to him was glaring daggers at Dante from under his light-brown bangs, who sat across from him. The blond almost expected him to start kicking the other under the table. It was obvious that the freckled teen was aware of the animosity, if the slight raising of his scarred brow was anything to go by, but it was also clear that he could care less. The blatant disregard seemed to have Jean visibly bristling even though he had previously stated that he wanted nothing to do with him. Cloud had to wonder if there was some sort of history between them. To make matters worse, Barton was obnoxiously guffawing at his own story he had been telling, oblivious to the tense atmosphere or the disinterested audience, though Cloud supposed that was part of his charm. He almost shouted in relief when he saw Zack’s imposing figure step into the cafeteria. His glowing gaze sweeping the cafeteria, before settling on his younger friend, breaking out into a huge grin.

“Cloud!” He shouted immediately making his way over to Cloud’s table. The blond wasn’t overly fond of all the attention his overzealous friend was currently bringing him, the situation was giving him DeJa’Vu from when he was a cadet as heads turned to stare at him in disbelief.

“Cloud, why is that First-Class looking for you?” Jean timidly asked, seeming to shrink into himself, and he could tell the other two were curious as well, even if they weren’t saying anything.

“He’s my friend.” He answered with a slight shrug.

“Friend?!” Jean squeaked out as Zack finally approached them, standing behind the short blond causing Jean to blanch at the proximity.

“Heya Cloudy!” He said brightly, laying a hand on his head to gently tousle the soft spikes, “No one’s giving you any trouble, are they?” His voice darkening as he looked at Cloud’s companions warningly, though Zack was impressed at the unflinching gaze he received from the dark-eyed boy.

“No.” Cloud said sternly, taking pity on Jean, who he was sure would faint under his best friend’s scrutiny, “And don’t call me that.” He deadpanned as he slapped Zack’s hand away from his hair. Though silently he was grateful for the interruption.

“They’re…. friends.” He added hesitantly. Though they never verbalized such a friendship, he figured they tolerated each other’s company enough to be considered that.

“Friends!?” It was insulting how surprised Zack sounded. “Ah, sorry.” He amended, as if he could sense the other’s ire. Weaving his fingers back into blond spikes in a motion that was probably supposed to be soothing, though it just ticked Cloud off.

“Hmm.” Cloud hummed before grunting as the considerable weight of his friend pressed against his back. “Zack! What the hell!?” He complained as the taller leaned forward to offer a friendly hand to an awestruck Barton who finally shut up. Then moving on to Dante who clasped his hand in a firm grip, something of mutual respect passed through their brief glance.

“Zack Fair, First-Class. Any friend of Cloud’s is a friend of mine!” He cheered amiably. He frowned slightly when he shook Jean’s hand as the kid looked like he was about to throw up.

“Why are you introducing yourself?” Cloud mumbled irritably at the table, trapped. “Get off me already!”

“Well, I hate to cut this short, but I need to borrow Spiky here.” Zack stated as he thankfully moved back, which allowed the irate blond to breathe again.

“Borrow me? Why?” Cloud asked, though the taller simply grasped his arm and pulled him from the table. “Z-Zack! Wait, I wasn’t done eating!” He futilely complained as he was dragged off. The other three were left in wonderous stupor.

“Cloud’s your friend, right?” Dante suddenly asked Jean, who had been staring off after the two who had just left. The addressed boy turned back to other with question in his hazel eyes.

“Yeah, why?” He bit out defensively. Dante leaned forward and spoke in a hushed tone.

“Then you should take care to school your expression better before you ruin that friendship.” And with that said he grabbed his tray and left.

“What the hell was that?” Barton asked perplexed.

“Who knows.” The younger said bitterly as he stabbed his fork down into his noodles aggressively. In all actuality he knew exactly what the freckled menace was getting at. His keen eyes caught a glimpse of the envy that fostered something even darker within its noxious embrace. “What the hell did that prick know anyway. He was the type who would just stand by and watch you bleed out before lending a hand.” Jean thought to himself. “That’s what he was best at after all.”


	4. Mistakes and Regrets

For the most part, Cloud did well to ignore Kunsel. He kept him updated at the end of his day like he was supposed to, and in turn he was supposed to stay off his back. Apparently, Zack had forgotten to mention that as part of the arrangement before he left on his mission. It wasn’t often, but now and again the Second-Class would do little things to remind Cloud that he was around and watching. Subtle things like passing him by in the hallway, which would have been originally innocuous, aside from the fact that if the Second-Class didn’t want to be seen, he wouldn’t be. So, Cloud could only deduce that he was doing it on purpose.

“Since we all have the weekend off, we should go for drinks!” Barton had been trying to rally them together as a group for a while now, completely oblivious to the tension between Dante and Jean.

“Aren’t we all underage?” Cloud asked with furrowed brows, causing Dante to snort.

“I didn’t take you for the ridged straight lace type.” The freckled teen commented.

“I’m not!” Cloud complained defensively, though his mother might have a heart attack if she knew. All of a sudden, he felt his PHS vibrate in his pocket. When he turned on the screen, he was half tempted to chuck it across the room. A pair of googly eyes emoji stared back at him in a text from Kunsel.

“Really!?” Cloud shouted, exasperated. He looked around the room to see if he could catch a glimpse of where the other was lurking, but he knew it was pointless. The man had more stealth than a Turk.

“What’s wrong?” Jean asked, peering over Cloud’s shoulder to see the message that had bothered the blond. “Well, that’s creepy.” He commented as he pulled back from Cloud with a slight frown. “Who’s it from?”

“My stalker!” He said loud enough that Kunsel, wherever he may be, could hear him.

Barton cracked his knuckles.

“Need me to rough someone up?” The burly man offered.

“He’s not that kind of stalker.” Cloud sighed “Long story short. I did something stupid to worry my friend Zack, and now that he’s on a mission he’s having a buddy of his check up on me.”

“What was the stupid thing?” Jean asked.

“Nothing important.” Cloud deflected shortly, and luckily the other boy dropped it, though he could see his curiosity was piqued. Well, too bad for him, cause that was a story Cloud intended to bury.

“Uh, so, are you coming or not?” Barton questioned, before Cloud could answer, his phone buzzed again. This time tilting the screen from other viewers.

“Don’t do anything that you wouldn’t want getting back to Zack.” The text said.

Cloud brushed a blond spike out of his face. Would Zack care? He remembered Zack telling him stories of when he went out with the older SOLDIERs getting plastered as a recruit one last time before the mako injections. It was a rite of passage since the Mako burned off the alcohol before you could get a buzz. On the other hand, his best friend was acting rather protective as of late. ‘Overprotective’ his mind added.

“Nah, I’ll just stay in tonight. You guys have fun.” Cloud sulked, looking at his feet dejectedly.

“What!? You have to come with!” Jean complained in a high whine. The other boy did not want to be stuck with Dante for a night out on the town.

Cloud felt Barton’s hand clap down on his shoulder, before walking out the door, dragging a protesting Jean by the arm. The blond was surprised to see Dante standing in front of him when he finally looked up. The freckled teen’s gray eyes were unreadable.

“You gonna be ok?”

Cloud was honestly surprised by the question. Dante struck him as the type who didn’t give a shit about anyone.

Cloud shyly ducked his head. “Uh...yeah, I probably should do some studying anyway. I’m still trying out for SOLDIER after all.”

The other’s presence lingered over him for a few more moments before following the sounds of Jean’s shouts and Barton’s responding guffaws out in the hall.

When the voices of his friend’s faded Cloud allowed himself to flop back on his bed, covering his eyes with his forearms. He let himself wallow in frustration for a few minutes, letting out a controlled breath he sat upright. He might as well make the most out of his weekend, he thought as he walked over to his locker, grabbing his books from his cadet classes and laid them out on his bed.

“Man, I can’t wait till I make SOLDIER.” Cloud thought to himself, “I never want to see these books again.

“Oops!” Zack shouted as he narrowly dodged a lethal swipe from a Kalm Fang. He retaliated with a diagonal slash that parted the monster into two pieces.

“Whew!” The SOLDIER ran a hand through black hair, lightened by the desert sand. They had been on monster hunting duty for three weeks now, and he couldn’t keep his mind from wandering. He did feel reassured that Kunsel agreed to look after Cloud, though when the blond’s betrayed expression popped up into his head, he felt a twinge of guilt.

“You’re distracted.” A soft voice commented from behind him, causing him to jump and spin around.

“Gaia! Cissnei! A little warning would be nice.”

The auburn-haired woman simply crossed her arms. He had no idea how she wasn’t roasting in her suit.

“What!?” Her still gaze seemed to silently chastise the SOLDIER though he wasn’t sure what he did wrong.

“You should be more focused when you are on the job.”

Zack sheepishly scratched the back of his head.

“Thinking about Aerith?” She said with a teasing smile, which faded when she caught the confused look Zack was giving her.

“A-ah, yeah.” He said unconvincingly. “So, enjoying touring with a bunch of sweaty handsome SOLDIERs?” Zack changed the subject with a grin.

“Well, one in particular.” Cissnei flirted in response as she allowed the shift in conversation, though Zack knew she was filing away all the details of their previous discussion in her memory.

“How much longer is this mission anyway?”

At the question, Cissnei looked around the desert at all the carnage of monster corpses disintegrating into the life stream in bright green, the other SOLDIERs finishing up with whatever had been left over.

“Honestly, at this rate it shouldn’t be much longer.” She answered, looking back up towards the tall First Class who was now sporting a huge grin, forcing the female Turk to respond in kind.

Cloud slammed his locker shut when he saw a little sticky note hanging on the inside of the door.

“Good luck in drills!” it said. A little doodle of a winking helmet at the bottom of the paper.

He didn’t know what pissed him off more, the fact that Kunsel knew his schedule or that he knew his locker combo.

“What’s wrong?”

Cloud looked over to meet Jean’s concerned hazel gaze.

“Nothing.” He replied with a dismissive shake of his head. He supposed this was the second-class’s way of getting back at him for Zack’s recent downcast behavior.

“Well, let’s go then. We’re gonna be late!” The other teen chirped, latching on to the blond’s arm to drag him out to the field.

Cloud looked around to see if Barton and Dante were following only to find they must have left their shorter friends behind.

“Dicks.” Cloud muttered. Though he didn’t really expect any different from Dante.

“I see that our resident fairies finally decided to grace us with their presence.” Instructor Otega scorned.

Well used to this behavior, Cloud simply let it roll off his back, though he felt Jean stiffen next to him.

“Alright ladies, pair up! You’re sparing one on one!”

Cloud felt Jean tug his arm. He almost always paired with the other teen. A part of him appreciated always having someone to partner with instead of being the odd one out, but another part of him that was growing, wanted to broaden his horizons. He realistically understood that if he wanted a shot at SOLDIER he was going to have to go up against stronger opponents than Jean. Right as he was about to turn to follow the mousy-haired boy he was pulled back by a strong grip. Startled he looked back and met Dante’s unchanging gaze.

“Yeah?” Cloud inquired.

“Partner with me.” He simply stated.

“What!? No, I called Cloud first!” Jean tightened his grip on the blond’s arm. Though he dropped back slightly when the dark grey eyes shifted over to him.

“Then…who am I going to partner with?” Jean whined and Dante wordlessly pointed his thumb over his shoulder where Barton waved.

“Barton!?” Jean screeched, “He’s a behemoth! He’s gonna squash me!”

Unoffended, the tall blond let out a hearty laugh as he approached, dragging the other shorter teen away.

“Cloud!” He tried one last time before he lost his grip completely.

“Sorry.” He said sympathetically, though honestly, he was grateful to Dante for his interference.

He faced the freckled teen, blue eyes glancing up to the scar through Dante’s right brow before meeting his eyes again.

“Why partner up with me?” Cloud was very curious. Dante was the most skilled of their party, and even the king of assholes, Otega had nothing but glowing praise for him.

Finally, the taller let up his grip. “Because you are more skilled than you appear. I can tell you hold back when you fight against Jean.” His tone dipping ever so slightly with disapproval, “You aren’t going to get any better that way.”

The comment stung, but he knew it was the truth. Cloud turned to fully face the other, his fair features settling into determination. Dante’s typically impassive expression gave away to reveal a slight smirk as Cloud squared up in preparation.

Fighting with the half-Wutian was extremely satisfying for the blond. He could feel the level of skill in every strike and parry. The older teen was still miles above him in terms of skill, but Cloud was managing to keep up. Cloud was suddenly knocked on his back and Dante quickly straddled his chest in a mount. When the dark-haired boy threw a punch, Cloud just barely caught it, the power behind the strike almost knocking both of their hands into his face. With both hands occupied, the blond pried off one of his boots with his other foot so that he could use his toes to grasp the scruff of Dante’s uniform and pulled back hard. Dark grey eyes widened almost comically in surprise and he felt himself being pulled back, and it was the most expression the blond had ever seen on the Wutian.

When he was finally able to yank the other off the silence surrounded them broke with ear shattering cheers and the concentration of both boys was temporarily broken. Looking around Cloud almost felt his jaw drop. All fighting around them ceased to observe the spar, and instead of yelling at them to get back to their task, Otega was watching the two with an intense expression. The surprising part though, was that personnel from every position, including SOLDIER, were gathering around as well.

Suddenly Cloud was knocked back with a well-placed kick to the gut. Quickly looking up he ducked just in time to avoid a roundhouse kick to the jaw. Cloud shook his head to clear it, a little winded from the last assault. It was clear Dante wasn’t going to give him time to process their sudden audience, nor the fear of having SOLDIER watching.

The next time Dante launched at him Cloud grappled with the other’s collar and dropped to the ground on his back, planting both of feet into Dante’s gut and flipped him over his head. Unfortunately, the other reoriented himself with a handspring. As soon as Cloud was up on his feet, his legs were taken out with a low spinning sweep kick. When Cloud felt Dante’s grip close around his throat, he instinctively wrapped his legs around the other’s neck and squeezed. The blond did not anticipate the taller on having the strength to lift Cloud off the ground from that position and the crowd grew audibly quiet in amazement. Suddenly Dante dropped them both back to the ground, slamming Cloud against the unforgiving surface. No longer able to hold the grapple, the blond released his grip. As soon as Cloud’s grip slipped, Dante immediately shifted the shorter onto his belly and pulled both of Cloud’s arms taught behind his back, placing a knee painfully between his shoulder blades to hold him immobile.

“Alright! I’m going to call the match!” Instructor Otega’s loud voice cut through the silence, and cheers and whistles erupted around them before their instructor quieted them with the threat of running laps.

The pressure let off Cloud’s back and he gingerly sat up with a wince. Dante didn’t hold a thing back. A hand appeared in front of the blond’s vision and without thinking he grabbed it, allowing his sparring partner to pull him up to his feet. He offered no apology for his rough handling, and for that Cloud was grateful. He did, however, brush off the dirt and dust that accumulated on his uniform after the scuffle. With a final pat to Cloud’s smarting back, Dante gave a small nod to the blond and then walked away to join their small group of friends.

“That was wicked man!” He heard Barton’s loud voice boom.

Just when he made a move to go join them, he heard his instructor call his name. He looked over to the stern man and jogged over, ignoring the twinges of pain running down his spine.

“Yes sir!” He said as he stood at attention, he jolted in surprise when he felt Otega’s hand on his shoulder and glanced up.

“You showed a lot of promise, with a little bit more polishing up you could seriously go some places. Oh, and a bit of friendly advice. Ditch the dead weight.” He said as he looked over the recruit’s shoulder and Cloud looked back as well, seeing Jean with that darkened expression that immediately brightened when he noticed Cloud’s attention.

The words caused an uncomfortable weight to settle in his stomach. On one hand he was amazed that he garnered any positive attention from Otega, but on the other hand he felt awful for even considering what his instructor was suggesting. The gruff man released his shoulder and nodded at him in dismissal. Immediately the blond turned on his heel and walked over to his friends who had been waiting for him. Blue eyes narrowed when he noticed a helmed second-class SOLDIER waiting near his companions who seemed oblivious to Cloud’s personal pest during the past few weeks of Zack’s absence. Preparing himself to deliver a few choice words that had been brewing under the heat of his repressed frustration, he changed the course of his step. Obnoxiously the other just offered a cheeky little wave of his fingers, causing the blond to grit his teeth.

“Heya Spike! That match was wicked!”

Cloud yelped as a heavy arm dropped across his shoulders and dragged him against a solid chest that rumbled with amused chuckles.

“Sorry, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you buddy.”

Cloud tilted his head back and looked up and saw a sharp grin and SOLDIER bright eyes.

“Zack!” The blond may have been embarrassed at how enthused he sounded, but he was too happy to see his best friend after such a long trying stretch of time.

The elder’s grin impossibly broadened, white teeth flashing.

“So, did you miss me?” He asked as he relentlessly attacked the shorter’s blond spikes.

Cloud wiggled out of Zack’s grip with a scowl, uselessly attempting to tame the now tousled mess.

“No.” His scowl didn’t last long in wake of the pout he received for his apathetic response. A small shy smile escaped before he could duck his head and hide it from the SOLDIER.

Kunsel leaned back against the Shinra building as he watched his friend reacquaint with the blond. He had to admit he had a bit of fun ruffling the feathers of the chocobo look alike.

“So, you’re Cloud’s tail.” It wasn’t so much a question as it was a statement. Either way, the observation startled him. He quickly schooled his body language as he turned to meet inquisitive gray eyes that concealed their intentions.

“And you are?” Kunsel questioned with a raised brow, unseen beneath his helmet.

“Dante Feng, but you already knew that.”

Kunsel let out an impressed whistle. He was starting to track with this kid. Of course, he made it his personal mission to know everything about the group of friends Cloud hung out with. Partly because he was taking Zack’s request to look out for the kid seriously, but also because knowing information was part of who he was.

Dante Feng was on the fast track to SOLDIER before an unfortunate incident with a fellow cadet during a sparring match. He took the match too far and beat the hell out of his opponent before moving on to the instructor who tried to break it up. That’s the reason on paper anyway, but the story didn’t seem to fit the teen’s normally impassive demeanor, and the alibi of the instructor and the cadet were inconsistent. Kunsel pulled aside a friend of the cadet who was assaulted and from greasing the recruit’s eager palms he discovered that both the instructor and cadet had threatened Feng with notifying his family who controlled the Wutian mob of his whereabouts. Apparently, they opposed of the young heir’s disappearance and held a strong hatred for Shinra. One thing that Kunsel could not figure out was the reason both the instructor and the cadet collaborated with each other to antagonize him into throwing away his future in SOLDIER. There was seemingly no connection, but Kunsel knew there was. The puzzle intrigued him.

“Kunsel. A friend a Zack’s.” The second-class explained.

“I know.” Was the cool response and Kunsel couldn’t quite stop the intrigued grin.

The helmed SOLDIER wasn’t sure why the Turks had passed up the former cadet. His intelligence was off the charts, and if he were being perfectly honest, he reminded him of himself when he was younger. Perhaps it had something to do with his ties to the Wutian mob. Either way he wondered if he could pull some strings to get the kid back on track to SOLDIER. He was way too skilled to remain as a simple infantryman.

“Zack! Put me down!” An indignant voice cried out, quickly drawing the attention of Kunsel and Dante. Momentarily pausing their mental showdown.

They glanced over to the commotion where Zack had Cloud thrown over his shoulders, laughing as he spun the other in a circle to make him dizzy. Kunsel smiled again as he watched Zack’s ridiculous antics.

“Why hasn’t Cloud made it into SOLDIER?”

The question immediately dragged the corners of Kunsel’s grin down, and he regarded the other with a perplexed frown.

“You were watching the match. Cloud is way too skilled to not have passed and he spends every free minute studying for the exam. So, what’s the real reason?” Dante articulated at the other’s silence.

It hadn’t crossed the SOLDIER’s mind, not because he didn’t agree that Cloud was too skilled to be left in the infantry as well, but because he already knew of the reason behind the blond’s failure into the program. He discovered that Cloud had high levels of Mako sensitivity after he cornered Zack regarding his somber behavior, revealing it was over his treasured cadet cutting his wrists after his last botched attempt at the exam. So, naturally he intended to find out all he could about the other who has such a strong hold over the first-class.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about kid.” He said instead, and the snort he received in response said Dante was calling bullshit.

“Yeah, sure.”

Cloud wasn’t sure how he ended here in a noisy bar crammed together in a booth with Zack, Kunsel, and his three friends. The first-class insisted that he take them all out in celebration of his return from his tour, and Cloud couldn’t find it in him to refuse. A small part he refused to acknowledge was a little bummed he couldn’t hang out just the two of them. He shook his head to dismiss unwanted thoughts from taking root and looked around the table. Barton looked stoked to be in the presence of two SOLDIERs and was eagerly chatting away with Zack, whereas Jean slouched next to Cloud, looking like he would rather be anywhere else. At least he wasn’t glaring daggers at Dante. Speaking of Dante, he was sitting across from Kunsel doing a weird stare off in that uncomfortable, soul-searching way. He wasn’t sure why he was surprised by their…friendship? That didn’t seem to be the right word.

‘Whatever’ Cloud thought with a sigh. He was 100% done with this. He couldn’t even enjoy his first experience tasting alcohol. It was beer, and after the first sip Cloud decided he hated the bitter fluid. He had no idea why Zack insisted on having a case in his fridge.

When Zack heard the heavy sigh from his friend, he broke of from his animated discussion with Barton to toss a friendly arm over Cloud’s shoulders, leaning down to whisper in his ear.

“What’s wrong?” He asked concerned, but all Cloud could think of was how his warm breath tickled his ear, feeling warmth bloom in his cheeks.

He internally cursed with how easily his fair skin blushed and immediately could feel the twin gazes of Kunsel and Dante zero in on him.

“Nothing, just the booze getting to me.” He blamed the alcohol, that he had like two sips of. Luckily Zack just laughed, ruffling his hair affectionately.

“You’re such a light-weight.” He commented fondly.

It wasn’t totally wrong. Cloud could already feel what little alcohol that was in his system beginning to affect him. He supposed it was due to his small stature, or his poor eating habits. He had heard before that you weren’t supposed to drink on an empty stomach.

After a while the beer stopped tasting so gross. So, Cloud kept sipping the frothy beverage and tuned out all the noise. He was beginning to enjoy the slight buzzing sensation he was getting and the cotton numbness that was filling his brain. Jean, who was on the other side of him, was beginning to look a little tipsy as well. He slumped heavily against him, and Cloud in turn leaned against the solid warmth of Zack.

Zack glanced back over at Cloud and momentarily at Jean as well. “We should probably get these two home.”

“This guy as well.” Kunsel commented, motioning over at Barton, who at this point was passed out with his face to the table and Zack couldn’t stop his chuckle.

“I keep forgetting that most people can’t outdrink a SOLDIER.” He said with a grin.

“So, what’s your excuse?” Kunsel turned to ask Dante, whose countenance remained ever the same. Not a flush in his cheeks or a droop in his lids.

“My family makes liquor stronger than this. I often had to drink it for special occasions and ceremonies.” He offered as explanation. “In turn, it takes a lot to get me drunk.”

“Well, let’s get these drunkards home then.” Zack teased as he motioned over to Cloud and Jean. The mousy-haired boy suddenly perked up; his cheeks heavily flushed.

“I’m not drunk! Neither ish Cloud.” He slurred, offended. He gripped onto Cloud’s arm and clumsily pulled him away from Zack’s shoulder and towards himself. Nearly toppling them both over into Dante who was on Jean’s other side.

“Woah, careful!” The first-class lightly scolded as he kept them upright, Dante looking slightly annoyed.

“Right Cloud? Yer not drunk.” Jean continued, taking Cloud’s equally flushed face into his hands.

Cloud nodded a lazy affirmation, though he had no idea what he was agreeing to. Everything was spinning, and Jean’s face was getting closer. He hardly registered soft lips pressing against his.

Kunsel, who had just taken another sip of beer, choked in surprise. Whatever he didn’t spit back into his mug ended up in his lungs.

“Woah! Hey!” Zack shouted as he pulled Cloud back, practically into his lap. While Dante restrained a lightly struggling Jean back, his annoyance blooming into irritation, if the twitch in his scarred brow was anything to go by.

“I think that’s our cue.” Kunsel stated with an incredulous laugh, his voice a little rough from his coughing spree.

“Yeah.” Zack affirmed gruffly, his tone barren of Kunsel’s amusement which caused the second-class to frown in confusion. Before he could think more on it, Dante had pulled Jean from the booth and slung him over his shoulder like a sack of rice. The boy was out cold.

Zack managed to shuffle himself and Cloud out of the booth, but Cloud just collapsed back onto the cushioned seat as soon as Zack had them stand.

“You alright there buddy?” The SOLDIER queried in amusement.

Cloud looked up at his friend with a pout on his lips. His cheeks flushed pink and his cherubic face unguarded. Zack felt his breath catch as Cloud lifted arms up, reminiscent of a child.

“Carry me.” He whined.

The SOLDIER felt his chest tighten and tired to ignore a nagging sensation that it wasn’t normal to feel this way as he bent forward to acquiesce the request of the smaller boy. Cloud lazily threw his arms around Zack’s neck and he was picked up, and Zack smiled fondly when the blond pressed his face against his shoulder. When he turned around, he caught thoughtful frown on Kunsel’s face.

“What?” Zack asked, a little more defensively than he intended.

“Oh, nothing.” He stated with a little knowing grin. “Let’s go.”

“Ahem.” Dante broke in and the second-class turned to him.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” The teen deadpanned and nodded behind Kunsel. He turned to look back and swore when he saw Barton still lying unconscious against the table top. He turned back to face the other two in order to suggest a trade, but they were already heading out the establishment doors with their burdens.

“Assholes!” Kunsel shouted after them.

Zack snickered when they reached the elevators of the Shinra building. He knew Kunsel was going to be pissed and pay him back later, but it was still funny as hell in the moment.

“You need to tell him.” The seemingly random statement interrupted the silence in the elevator.

“Huh?” Zack asked perplexed, tilting his head to the side. That had come out of nowhere.

“Cloud.” Dante elaborated as he hiked Jean further on his shoulder. “Kunsel wouldn’t tell me, but I know you are aware of how advanced Cloud’s skill level is.”

Zack had a sinking feeling that he knew where this was going, and any former amusement he felt had evaporated.

“Whatever the reason is that he isn’t able to get into SOLDIER, I have a feeling you know. Cloud doesn’t though; he’s still studying his ass off for the exams.” Dante accused and Zack found himself unable to look into those searching eyes.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about kid.” The SOLDIER responded and Dante actually laughed at that, but it was without humor.

“Funny, your buddy Kunsel said the same thing. You wanna know what I think?” He received no reply. “I think you are both full of shit.” When the teen looked over to the SOLDIER, he noticed the other had his jaw clenched and his posture was ridged, but he made no objection in his defense.

Dante stepped of the elevator when it reached their floor with Jean mumbling against his back. When he didn’t hear Zack follow, he looked back curiously. The SOLDIER was staring down at Cloud with a contemplative expression.

“Zack?” Dante asked, noting the other’s hesitance.

“Ah, I think I’m just gonna have him crash at my place. I think he would rest more easily there.” He explained, trying to ignore the critical look he was receiving. It honestly felt like Kunsel was staring at him and he was grateful they left him behind. He wasn’t sure he could handle the look from both of them.

“Right, see you around then.” He replied as the doors closed.

Zack let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. An ugly emotion was brewing deep in his chest, one he wasn’t quite familiar with. The real reason Zack was bringing Cloud back to his quarters was because he didn’t trust that Jean kid to keep his lips to himself.

A pained groan broke Zack out of his thoughts and he glanced down to the recruit in his arms. Cloud’s brows were furrowed in distress and Zack immediately relaxed his tight grip when he realized he had been squeezing the other too hard.

“Sorry Cloud.” He apologized, placing a kiss to his hairline. Smiling fondly when the crease between his brows smoothed out.

Cloud had the strangest sensation of floating until he felt his back rest up against something soft. He opened his eyes and to see Zack leaning over him with a surprised grin; his violet-blue eyes glowing in the dark.

“Hey, didn’t mean to wake you. You feeling alright?”

Cloud simply blinked owlishly in response before the question registered enough in his fuzzy brain to answer, “Feeling ok?” Why wouldn’t Cloud feel alright? Cloud felt better than alright. He felt…happy…numb. He didn’t know why, but a giggle bubbled over and escaped his lips, giddy and light.

Zack stared enthralled by the carefree behavior his normally reserved friend was displaying. “Well, yeah. You’re drunk off your ass for one.” He said with an incredulous laugh before quieting with a slight frown. “…And…Jean kissed you.” He trailed off, feeling that uncomfortable clenching in his chest again.

“Kissed?” Cloud asked, his pink tongue unconsciously darting out to taste his lip, as if to find lingering evidence of the transgression, Zack’s eyes tracking the motion.

He wasn’t sure why, but Zack reached forward to trace Cloud’s bottom lip with his thumb. Sliding it from the left to linger at the right corner of his mouth, feeling the residual moisture from his tongue.

“Then fix it.” Cloud whispered.

“What?” Zack started, just now realizing he was inches from the other, one hand bracing on the bed beside Cloud’s head, the other hand gently cupping his soft cheek.

When the large blue eyes met his, he lost any words that were on his tongue. Blond spikes tousled against the dark sheets of his bed and a rosy blush to fair cheeks. He barely felt the slim fingers slide into his raven hair and tug him down. His lips meeting the perfectly soft and warm ones beneath him. Almost on instinct he began pressing deeper against the smaller male, sliding his other hand to join the other on the opposite side of Cloud’s face so he could turn his head at a better angle and pull him up against him. He alternated from short and sweet pecks to deep heavy kisses that drew whines from the blond that reverberated against his lips. Eventually his friend stopped responding and Zack pulled back, quietly laughing when he heard the soft snores.

“Ha…he fell asleep.”

A few peaceful beats passed as he watched his friend rest before unabashed panic settled in; his eyes widening when he realized what they did.

“Shit! Aerith!” He hadn’t even told her he was back yet.

He sat down heavily on the side of his bed and dropped his head into his hands trying to process what the hell had just happened and what he was going to do about it. Cloud was drunk, the kid probably wasn’t even aware of what he was doing. Yeah, Cloud was drunk…but Zack wasn’t.

“Shit.”


	5. Lies, Deception, Forgiveness and Redemption

Cloud opened bleary eyes when the comforting scent of his best friend’s cologne wafted past his nose. He lifted his head to gauge where he was, but an incessant pounding in his skull made him drop his aching head heavily back down with a groan. It felt like someone filled his skull with lead weights. The soft pillow doing little to chase away his massive hangover. He tried again to sit up, a little more slowly with a slight grunt and took in familiar walls.

“Zack’s place.” He mumbled aloud to himself before blond brows furrowed in confusion. “Why am I at Zack’s place?” It was almost amusing how often he was beginning to find himself here as of late.

He remembered going out with his friend’s after drills were done in celebration of Zack’s successful tour, but what occurred after was a complete blank. Why he was at Zack’s instead of at the barracks he had no idea, but he was grateful. Cloud had heard horror stories from other military personal of what happens to drunkards in the barracks. Anywhere from drawing on their faces and dyeing hair to stripping people naked and leaving them in a public place. A shiver went down the blond’s spine at the thought of him being that position and mentally thanked Zack for saving him from that sort of humiliation.

The sound of metalware clanging brought the trooper back to focus. Zack must still be in the apartment. The other side of the bed showed no signs of being slept on and Cloud felt a little guilty. His friend must have slept on the couch. Zack was definitely too tall for it, and his feet always hung over the edge. He looked down at himself and pulled the collar of his shirt out to sniff and pulled back with a wince. He needed a wash. Luckily Zack talked him into leaving some of his clothes here in case of an emergency, so he wouldn’t need to redress in dirty clothes.

Cloud stepped into the shower to wash off the smell of the bar, stale alcohol and cigarettes. He let out an appreciative sigh as he felt the hot water wash over him, soothing his muscle aches and temporarily easing the pounding in his head. He was jealous of the private showers that SOLDIERs got. Even though nobody had bothered him in infantry yet. He thought he could still feel the stares whenever he took a shower down in the barracks. Because of this, he usually waited until it was empty or when one of his friends were going.

The trooper mentally braced himself as he made his way to where he could hear Zack moving about the kitchen, sounded like he was washing dishes. He hoped he didn’t do anything too embarrassing lest the other tease him relentlessly. Cloud could tell when his friend noticed his presence when tension drew up between the SOLDIER’s broad shoulders and an atmosphere of unease settled around them. Suddenly the dark-haired man spun around with an uneasy grin, wiping his wet hands on a dish towel.

“Morning Spike!” Cheered, his tone taut. Like a guitar string ready to snap.

If Cloud wasn’t shocked by the opposing parallels of the atmospheric tension and Zack’s legendary grin that was too tight in the corners, then it would be the dark circles painted underneath violet eyes. It looked like he hadn’t slept in days.

Momentarily speechless at the rundown appearance of the other, Cloud just blankly stared until he eventually found words. “-You ok Zack?”.

“Ok?” Zack’s forced grin quickly faded. “Cloud…what do you remember about last night?” The taller asked, the caution in his tone caused Cloud to frown.

‘Weird’ Cloud thought. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what happened last night. He self-consciously ducked his head and frantically tried to recall the blurry events. ‘What the hell did I do!?” He thought in a panic. It had to be bad if the first-class looked like such a wreck.

Cloud anxiously pulled at the sleeves of his shirt before admitting, “I remember going to the bar with everyone and hanging out there for a while…but it kinda becomes a huge blank after that.”

Cloud head snapped up when he heard Zack let out a huge sigh and his blue eyes widened impossibly.

“I didn’t do anything bad, did I!?” He panicked.

Zack felt almost relieved when Cloud revealed that he didn’t remember the events of last night, but another part of him was cynically displeased. Why should he be the only one to agonize over the thoughts of being unfaithful to his amazing girlfriend. To be bombarded with unwelcome thoughts of the younger’s soft lips, the sensations of perfect pressure when they kissed-

“Zack?”

The tentative voice pulled the SOLDIER from his spiraling thoughts.

“Ah- nothing too bad…” The raven-haired man trailed off,

“-but?” Cloud pressed. Something about his best friend’s hesitance left a heavy feeling in his stomach.

Zack turned away from the other with another sigh and ran a frustrated hand through dark locks. He heavily contemplated what exactly he was going to say. He could hardly let the other know that he kissed Zack last night, or that he kissed back…and liked it…Shit! Zack shook those thoughts away before he got the chance to contemplate them too deeply. He rested his hands heavily on his hips, still facing away from the other. It wasn’t as if Cloud knew what he was doing. He was drunk off his ass.

Cloud watched on as a sense of foreboding took hold of him. It unsettled him to see the other in an obvious struggle with himself and he flinched when the SOLDIER suddenly spun around to face him. He braced himself for bad news.

“It’s just that…Jean kinda laid one on you last night.” Zack said uncomfortably.

“Laid what on me?” Cloud asked confused. Whatever he was expecting the other to say, it certainly wasn’t that.

“A kiss. He, uh, kissed you last night.” He explained, completely avoiding eye contact with the younger.

Cloud couldn’t stop the incredulous laugh that escaped and violet eyes snapped back to him in question.

“Sorry, its just that I was expecting something really awful.” Cloud explained.

The near offended look he received startled Cloud.

“What?” The trooper had to ask. He had no idea what about that statement bothered his friend.

“Nothing.” Zack began, his brows furrowed in budding irritation, “It’s just that, I thought after everything that happened to you that this would...I don’t know…be upsetting or something!?” he tossed up his hands as he spoke.

Cloud crossed his arms across his chest. “And what is that supposed to mean?” He bit out defensively.

Honestly, Zack wasn’t sure himself where all this was coming from, but the blond’s dismissal bothered him deeply. But despite the confusion his own conflicting emotions were causing, he carried on, nonetheless.

“Do you really need me to spell this out for you Cloud?” He asked, internally wincing at the condescension that leaked through his tone. This was all coming out wrong, especially when he saw the hurt in Cloud’s eyes.

“I don’t understand why you’re acting like this” Cloud began a little helplessly at his friend’s sudden hostility. “He kissed me, so what?”

Whatever guilt the SOLDIER felt was swallowed up as if by a vacuum.

“So what?!” Zack tossed the cloth he had in his hands down and rounded counter so he could stand in front of the shorter male. He crossed his arms over his chest and his voice began to raise. “I’m sorry. I must be missing something here! Did you like it or something!?”

An angry blush flamed the trooper’s cheeks. “What!? No! I don’t even remember it!” Cloud shouted in indignation.

“I guess the kiss the asshole from the showers took from you was no big deal then. If I ever find out who the punk is, I’ll be sure to tell him!”

Zack regretted the words as soon as they left his traitorous mouth, and the wounded expression on Cloud’s youthful face would haunt him while he slept. The SOLDIER slowly closed his eyes in remorse to shield himself from that tortured gaze. A strangled hiccup reached his ears, and his eyes snapped back open, but the other was already turned around and heading for his front door. In a panic, he lurched forward to grab the blond’s shoulder and pulled him around to face him. Zack felt his heart clench when trails of silent tears streaked down Cloud’s face. He hurt Cloud. He hurt him bad.

“Cloud, I’m so sorry-“

The trooper angrily shrugged him off as if his touch scalded him.

“Save it!” He hissed out. The venom in the younger’s tone momentarily freezing the SOLDIER where he was, only snapping out of it when the sound of a slamming door reverberated around his apartment.

Zack walked up to the door and angrily slapped his hand against it before resting his forehead on the wood.

“Shiva’s tits Zack. What the hell is wrong with you!” He angrily mumbled to himself. He couldn’t believe he was such an asshole to his best friend. Not to mention, that wasn’t like him at all. It felt like he was turning into somebody else, someone that he would have previously punched the lights out of. He turned around and allowed himself to wearily slide against the door till he descended to the floor. Dropping his head into his heads he contemplated how in Gaia’s green earth he was going to get Cloud to forgive him. Hell, he couldn’t even forgive himself.

Cloud angrily wiped at his blurry eyes that refused to stop tearing up. He couldn’t believe Zack said that to him. ZACK! His supposed ‘best friend’ who had always been in his corner. Instinctively he knew there was more to the story than the SOLDIER was letting on, but his ire wouldn’t allow him to even entertain the idea right now. No, right now he was pissed, and he was hurt. The chaotic cacophony of emotions was beginning to build with no way out and the internal pressure was making it difficult to breathe. By some miracle he managed to make it to the infantry barracks. He managed to stop the tears, but he knew he must have still looked a mess if the shocked glances he was receiving were anything to go by. Ignoring their stares, he wordlessly shoved his way through the room till he reached his bed. He flopped down on the hard surface and curled up on his side, facing away from everyone. Trying to block out the world.

“You want to talk about it?” Dante’s voice asked from somewhere behind him.

Cloud didn’t answer, electing to shake his head in refusal. He felt the other’s presence linger behind him for a few moments before moving away. Cloud didn’t want any consolation right now. He just wanted to be left alone. He felt the bed depress next to him and fingers begin to run through his hair. The only one who he would ever tolerate doing that was Zack, and he was sure as shit it wasn’t him. He was about to tell whoever it was to fuck off when the individual leaned close to his ear.

“I overheard Zack and Dante talking last night.” Jean’s voice whispered into his ear.

Cloud was about to ask him what the hell he was talking about when the other boy continued.

“Dante was implying that there was some reason that you didn’t make SOLDIER and that Zack was aware of it.”

Stunned Cloud sat up, and Jean leaned back to make room for him.

“Zack would have told me if there was a reason!” Cloud defended. Zack may have acted like a complete asshole, but he was still his best friend and he wouldn’t allow anyone to insult the other’s integrity.

Jean held up his hands in surrender when he noticed how heated the blond was quickly becoming.

“I’m just telling you what I heard. It wouldn’t feel right if I kept it to myself.”

Cloud scowled at the other boy before resuming his previous position, blocking out anything else the boy would have to say, but it didn’t matter, the seed of doubt had already been planted. His own disturbed thoughts preventing him from registering the fingers that still thread through his hair.

Dante watched the scene uneasily. He wondered if Zack had finally worked up the nerve to tell Cloud about his inability to get into SOLDIER. Even though the half-Wutian didn’t know the details, he had pieced together his own theory on the matter. He just didn’t expect the SOLDIER to tell him so soon after he was confronted. He had planned on giving the blond trooper his space, but he didn’t think that was going to be an option as Jean was telling Cloud who the hell knows what. It wasn’t so much that Jean was a bad person. It was more that Jean seemed to embody the phrase “misery loves company”. He would much rather keep someone with him where he was at, rather than be pulled forward into improvement. Dante didn’t really care if someone was content to remain stagnant, but he had seen that fire in Cloud’s eyes, as he wasn’t going to let it go out quite yet.

“Hey.” The freckled teen said as he kicked the frame of Cloud’s bed. Earning himself an annoyed glare from Jean and a half-hearted grunt from Cloud.

He kicked the frame a little harder, and Cloud finally sat up and faced him. Irritation tightening his expression, but a hint of curiosity lingered in his eyes.

“Come train with me for a bit.”

Dante could see the refusal on the other’s lips, but before he even had a chance to talk, Jean cut in.

“Gaia, Dante! Just leave him alone!” the mousy-haired boy scolded. “Can’t you see he’s upset!”

“Stay stagnant or move forward.” Was all he said.

It had been enough. A small flame lit in Cloud’s blue eyes, and a self-satisfied grin almost made an appearance, but Dante managed to suppress the urge. He ignored Jean’s glare as he led the blond out the door and to the training floor. He wasn’t going to let Cloud’s fire go out, not like Remi’s had.

Aerith knew before the SOLDIER had made it to the church doors. Knew of his guilt, his shame, even though she had no idea of the specifics. Her chest felt tight all day, and it only grew more so when Zack finally stepped through those doors with his head low. Nonetheless she spun around with a light smile, her hands clasped behind her back.

“Well, well. Look who the cat dragged in.” She said playfully and got a painful smile in response.

“Aerith,” He began. He walked forward and reached out for her hands and clasped them within his own. “You may want to sit down.”

Even though she had an idea what was coming, it didn’t stop the pangs of fear and hurt from trampling her chest. She took a seat on one of the pews next to Zack and patiently waited for him to explain. He was silent for a few moments as he tried to mentally organize what he was going to say. Finally, grief-stricken eyes met her own, and she had to stifle her shocked gasp. His once tan skin looked unusually pale, and dark circles hung underneath his eyes like unwelcome shadows. Eyes which used to be bright with mischief and joy were dull and burdened.

“-I betrayed you Aerith…” He voice was rough, as though he had been crying. “Last night I went out with some friends to celebrate the end of my tour. Cloud ended up getting drunk, and he…um, he kissed me.”

She would have laughed if not for her boyfriend’s tortured expression.

“Honey, if he kissed you, then you haven’t done anything wrong- “

“No,” Zack vehemently shook his head and looked away in shame, “Yes, he kissed me.” He closed his eyes tightly, “But I kissed him back.” A few seconds passed before he added, “and I think I enjoyed it.”

Aerith shut her eyes at the admission and willed her tears back. She had known this was coming, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. She knew that she could convince Zack that it was a once off, a fluke of sorts. But she also knew that it wouldn’t be right to either of them. With her mind made up she reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, drawing his gaze back to her.

“Zack, I’m not going to lie and say this doesn’t hurt, but I’m also not going to hurt you more than you already hurt yourself.”

When she only received a confused and worried look in return, she elaborated. “Zack, I need you to be honest with me. Is there a chance that something like this will happen again?”

Immediately he wanted to deny it and say ‘No! absolutely not!’. But he knew there was no way he could promise that. So, he settled on the truth.

“Honestly…. I don’t know how I feel about Spike… I know that I really care about you, and that hasn’t changed.” He reluctantly admitted. When a gentle hand rested on his shoulder he looked into his girlfriend’s beautiful green eyes, loathe to see the pain he had caused lingering in the emerald depths. Though her gaze was wounded, it was absent of anger or accusation.

“I understand.” She simply said, and it was almost comical to see how Zack’s eyes widened in disbelief and his lower jaw actually dropped.

A small giggle did escape Aerith and she let go of the SOLDIER’s shoulder, dropping her dainty hands into her lap as she pondered for a moment.

“If I’m being honest with myself, I’m not ready to let go of you yet, and it sounds like you’re not sure of your own feelings.” She said, idlily swinging her legs back and forth from the pew.

“I-I don’t understand…” Zack’s voice uttered quietly.

She gave him a tender smile. “I mean we don’t need to decide on anything today. There is no need to rush towards a decision.”

“Aerith-” Zack felt his mouth open and close a few times before he could properly respond. “I cannot possibly ask that of you!”

“You didn’t have to.” She said with a slight smile that slowly slid away to a more serious expression. She reached forward to cradle his face in her hands.

“I only ask that you remain honest with me about how you feel about me and about Cloud. Ok?” She asked.

Zack felt the tears slip down without his permission and her tender thumbs wipe them away. He didn’t deserve her patience, understanding, or love. But he wasn’t strong enough to refuse them either.

The training with Dante had been as rewarding as it had been painful for Cloud. On one hand he was able to vent out his repressed emotions throughout their skirmish, but on the other hand, he thought it was going to weeks for him to recover from the ass whooping he had just received. Apparently, it didn’t matter to his friend that he was going through an existential crisis. He wondered what it would take for the other to pull his punches. He wasn’t sure such an event existed.

The freckled teen offered him a hand up and pulled him to his feet.

“Thanks Dante, I really needed that.” And Cloud meant it. He sometimes let himself forget that he had other friends beside Zack now.

The other teen seemed to consider him for a few moments and Cloud looked inquiringly back at him.

“Want to talk about it?” He once again offered, and Cloud knew that if he declined once more, then the other would immediately drop it. Instead, he decided to open up.

“I failed the SOLDIER exams a couple months ago.” Cloud began, the shame of it causing heat to warm his cheeks. When he glanced up to gauge the other’s reaction, he only saw Dante waiting for him to carry on. No judgement in his eyes. So, with a deep breath Cloud continued.

“Actually, I failed the exam a total of three times. If that wasn’t bad enough, I was dealing with harassment from my unit. One of the guys named Terrance, who had it out for me more than the others, pushed me a little too far when I was already low. It’s sounds dumb I know, but he forced a kiss on me and…said some suggestive things.”

Cloud couldn’t believe he was admitting all this, but it felt good to be able to get it off his chest. Both boys had migrated to one of the benches in the training room so they wouldn’t be awkwardly standing around during an already awkward conversation.

“In a moment of weakness, I saw a razor blade one of the cadet’s left behind…and I…I just started carving. Zack found me like that and healed me. I didn’t even mean to cut that deep. I was just…I don’t know. Looking for some sort of way to relieve the pressure.”

Dante’s eyes widened briefly in surprise before his expression settled into its typical stoicism. He now better understood the SOLDIER’s protectiveness over the younger teen.

“This morning up in Zack’s apartment, he told me that Jean kissed me last night. When I didn’t seem upset over it, he accused me of liking it!” Cloud’s voice began to raise. “Like seriously! It probably was just a drunk kiss! I don’t even remember it!”

Dante’s brows raised in surprise as he listened.

“And if that wasn’t bad enough, he accused me of liking the kiss Terrance forced on me! Like what the hell kind of friend would say that!” Cloud was shouting by the end.

A jealous one, Dante’s mind supplied. “A dick.” He said instead.

Cloud let out a sardonic laugh before turning to the other with an appreciatory grin. “Thanks, again.” The fight, then the talk had been surprisingly therapeutic. And it was from the last person he thought would care.

When Cloud felt his stomach rumble he stood up with a stretch, groaning as protesting muscles pulled.

“I’m gonna head to the cafeteria for a bite, you coming?” Cloud asked. He wasn’t overly surprised when the other shook his head. He occasionally refused to eat with them, electing to eat by himself. The blond simply shrugged shoulders, wincing when it jarred his abused body, and headed out.

Dante stared impassively at the door the other vacated through. He was beginning to get uncomfortable with how involved he was becoming. For the most part, he did his best to stay out of everybody’s business. Mostly because he wanted everyone to stay out of his business. He only collected enough information to steer clear of certain obstacles and keep his head under the radar. This was proving very difficult with Cloud. It was like trouble followed the blond wherever he went and dragged anyone even remotely connected with him into it. Normally he would drop someone who was so much trouble. Dante never once claimed to be a virtuous person. Anyone who didn’t bother picking themselves up by their bootstraps, he would walk right on by. But with Cloud…he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He just reminded him too much of Remi. Honestly, the resemblance was uncanny. It was the only reason he even bothered to talk to him in the first place when they were on duty together. He let out an uncharacteristic sigh and leaned back on his hands.

“Guess I’m too far in to back out now.” He quietly muttered into the empty room.

Cloud was ignoring him. Every text that he sent went unanswered, any call was either ignored or hung up on. He was never in the cafeteria and anytime he waited for him after his drills, the blond darted off in the opposite direction.

To be honest, he was beginning to get pissed off. Yes, Cloud had every right to be upset with him, but he wasn’t even giving him a chance to explain himself, nor to apologize. He did as Aerith recommended when he explained the situation to her and gave his friend ‘space’. But really. It’s been two weeks, and the little brat was still ignoring him. Enough was enough. His plan? Interrupting the trooper’s drills, saying he required Cloud’s assistance with something. This way he wouldn’t be able to run away.

Zack wasn’t above abusing his authority. A little voice in the back of his mind that sounded suspiciously like Angeal asked, “But what about honor?”, but he quickly stifled it before the guilt could settle in.

Zack walked onto the field as the troops were running through their drills, they were in the middle of pushups right now. He was just glad they weren’t practicing with firearms, cause he wasn’t sure Cloud wouldn’t attempt to shoot him. Instructor Otega looked at the SOLDIER inquisitively before snapping to attention.

“What can I do for you lieutenant Fair!?”

The first-class waved off the salute. “I need to borrow trooper Strife for assistance.”

Otega nodded his head and turned around to bellow, “Strife! Get your ass over here!”

The addressed trooper immediately ceased his drills and padded over to his instructor with a confused expression which quickly turned to thunder when he saw who was asking after him. Zack was almost impressed.

“Lieutenant Fair has a mission for you. You’re dismissed!” Otega ordered.

Cloud was surprised that he actually wanted to finish out his drills rather than hearing out whatever his friend had to say. But the look in Zack’s eyes said he would drag him out if he had to, and the last thing Cloud wanted was to make a scene.

Zack gestured with his head to indicate he wanted the trooper to follow him, and despite the massive temptation to turn and sprint in the opposite direction, he did. When they arrived at Zack’s office on the SOLDIER floor, he took a seat in a chair while Zack perched on the edge of his desk. When all Zack did was stare at him, Cloud wrapped his arms around his chest defensively.

“What!?” He snapped out.

The other scratched the back of his head nervously before dropping his hands into his lap.

“I’m sorry.”

Cloud already knew that, the other had told him a hundred times, via text message and voicemail. The genuine tone made his heart pang guiltily, but then what Zack said that night replayed in his head and soured his mood. He stubbornly turned his head towards the wall so he wouldn’t have to see the other. He heard the rustle of cloth and the creak of the desk, indicating the SOLDIER had moved. Out of the corner of his eye he saw him squat down in front of him.

“Cloud.” Zack said softly, gently taking the blond’s hands into his own. “I’m sorry.”

Cloud felt his cheeks color and his heart begin to race at the other’s soft tone, his warm proximity, and he knew if he were to look, he would be hit with the full force of Zack’s puppy dog eyes. So, he determinedly kept his eyes towards the bland décor of the office wall. He suddenly felt warm soft lips gently press against his knuckles, leaving a pleasant tingle where they landed. An apology whispered after each kiss. He felt his ears burn and a ticklish feeling develop in his lower belly.

If Zack didn’t hear his heartbeat before, he sure as hell was hearing it now!

“Zack!” Cloud whined, and he felt the other’s lips grin against his hand before resuming their previous activity. Every kiss sending a pleasant jolt down his spine and to his groin. Unable to take it anymore he whipped his head around to face the SOLDIER who was staring intently up at him from his position on the floor. His violet gaze tender, as if Cloud were the most precious thing in the world.

Maintaining eye contact, the older man slowly turned the other’s hand over, palm up. Laying a gentle kiss on the exposed skin. He felt more than heard the last apology whispered against his palm.

He was done, his heart felt like it was about to pound out of his chest, his cheeks so red it hurt, and an unfamiliar warmth tingled through him that he didn’t quite know what to do with. Completely and utterly overwhelmed, he felt tears well up in his eyes and immediately Zack rose and swept him into his arms. Cloud uselessly fought the strong embrace and the comfort it instantly brought.

“I’m still mad at you!” He sobbed, but it lost much of its heat.

Zack pressed more kisses against blond spikes whispering, “I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

When Cloud’s sniffles died down Zack had him sit back down in his chair while he finished up some paperwork that he had to do. After all, Cloud could hardly wander around the Shinra building after his instructor was told he had to have the day off to help Zack.

For the first hour Cloud couldn’t even look at the other as he stewed in his embarrassment. Eventually though, he got bored of staring at the wall, so he let his gaze wander to the man who was working so diligently at his desk. He admired the dark brows furrowed in concentration, the violet eyes that scanned the papers before him, the sharp cut of his jaw adorned with the x-shaped scar on the left. He was unbelievably handsome. He was surprised when that sentiment, which was usually accompanied by envy, was followed with something much warmer. That strange ticklish feeling fluttered in his belly, and honestly it was a little frightening. He quickly determined that it was due to all the emotional turmoil that he had been facing as of late, and nothing more. And if his heart stopped when Zack looked up and gave a cheeky wink, well…he was just going to ignore that.


End file.
